Falling For Boys In Blue

Chapter 32

Kaitlyns pov

After the sunrise we all went back to Cody and Corey's for breakfast. No one brought up what happened at the beach and I was glad. Corey still never left my side.

Cody made his famous chocolate chip pancakes, if he wasn't eating IHOP's pancakes for breakfast it was his own. That was all he knew how to make from scratch. He made a bunch and we all sat around the island and just ate and talked. I didn't want them to ever leave, because then I knew Corey and I had to talk. But everyone had to go get ready for press, so they left after we cleaned the kitchen. It was just us three now. There was that weird silence in the kitchen as we cleaned, the one where two of you weren't okay and the third knew but didn't know if they should say anything. Corey stopped that,

"Are we gonna do this before or after today, because either way it's gonna be on my mind."

"We can just do it before."

"Great then let's go upstairs." He threw a napkin away and walked up stairs. He seemed mad. I followed him into my room, leaving Cody alone to finish cleaning. He was already in my room but closed the door behind me.

"Are you mad at me?"

I just flat out asked it. I figured that was best. He sighed and rested his head against the door.

"I," he sighed again and grunted. Yeah, he was mad. His eyes were closed and his Adam's apple kept moving as if he was trying to not cry. Wait, was he? Why was this affecting him so much? I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso and rested my forehead against his back as I took a big deep breath in. I missed how he smelt.

"I'm sorry Corey."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about." He was definitely crying.

"Yes, it's my fault. I was stupid to end it seven months ago. I said I wanted you to be free because I wouldn't be here anymore. Because I didn't want to hurt you. But in the end I hurt us both. And I'm sorry."

He turned around and took me in his arms and held me. We were both crying again. It felt like we stood there for hours hugging each other. But it was only for like a minute.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I didn't fight to keep you. So it's my fault too. We both have the blame for this so please stop trying to take it all."

I force myself to let go of him, but only for me to be wiping his tears away. He wiped mine away and his hands slid down my arms to mine. It may have been almost a year since we were together, but he still managed to send chills down my back with just a touch. Just now, back at the beach when he put his hand on my back, last night when he was holding me. It was like the first time he touched me when I started with the Dodgers. It was just a handshake, but we both felt that spark. The first time we held hands, our first kiss, our first time. I felt like it was all still there.

I leaned our foreheads together and just stared into his eyes. God were they beautiful. I remember getting lost in them so many times. All the times I just looked at him, when I'd secretly look at him, when we'd just lean our heads against each other and smile, when he'd hold my face and kiss my tears away. Everything. I dart my eyes to the ground as tears well up again.

"It's still my fault." I had never felt him let go of my hands and step away faster. He turned away and locked his fingers behind his neck.

"Corey,"

"NO I," He lets out a loud sigh and turns around again. "Why can't you understand that it's not your fault Kaitlyn." His voice cracked. "It took two of us to breakup even if I didn't want to. I could've fought to keep you, I should have but I didn't. I was too afraid of losing you more if I fought to try and stay with you. So I kept my mouth shut and did what you wanted. It's OUR fault. So please for the love of god stop saying it's yours."