Falling For Boys In Blue

Chapter 56

*a week later*
Kaitlyns pov

I stood outside Jacobs door, waiting to knock and go in. I didn't want to have this conversation. But I had to. I'd been feeling weird the past two weeks, things between us had been kinda weird since I told him about the job. I'd be gone in about a month, but I didn't want to cause him more pain.

I could faintly hear the tv, he had the Dodgers game on. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He had a big smile on his face, he always did when it came to me.

"Hi babe!"

"Hey." He kissed me as I walked in.

"You okay?" He said shutting the door.

"Um yeah I'm fine." He wrapped his arms around me and set his chin on my shoulder.

"You don't seem fine. What's wrong?" I took his arms off me and turned away. He spun me around and looked me in the eyes. "What's going on Kaitlyn?"

I hated and loved how he knew me so well. Sure we'd only been together for a little over a month, but we've been friends for longer. I hated to say it, but he knew me better than Corey did. But not like Christian. Sure we had our fights and everything, but no one knew me like Christian did. It may not have seemed like it most of the time, but he knew me. I looked down as the tears welled in my eyes.

"Hey," he lifted my chin. "It's me." I shook my head just as the tears fell. I just had to be honest.

"I can't do this Jacob."

"No Kaitlyn don't,"

"Jacob please,"

"Kaitlyn stop let's talk,"

"There's nothing to,"

"Yes yes there is we can fix this whatever it,"

"No we can't. It's not you. You can't,"

"No Kaitlyn stop yes we can we can work,"

"No Jacob,"

"Kaitlyn lets,"

"JACOB." His shoulders slumped. The tears that were in his eyes were now running down his cheeks.

"This can't be over Kait. We can't be over."

"It's not you it's me."

"No no it's not. We can,"

"Jacob," I took his face in my hands. "Yes it is."

He took my hands in his.

"I promise you it's not you. Whatever it is we can work on it."

It killed me but I let go of his hands.

"No. I know it's only been over a month, but I can't keep you in this relationship when I can't give you what you want."

"What? Kaitlyn what are you talking about there's nothing you,"

"Jacob please just listen." He took my hands again, and I let him. "I can't keep you in this relationship when I can't give you what you want in the end. Especially if I'm going back to LA for who knows how long. I know you want a family and I can't give you that. It kills me but I want you to be with someone who you can have a family with. Someone who will actually be there and not in a different state. I'm not that person. I'm sorry."

"But I don't care,"

"No Jacob,"

"KAITLYN STOP." His voice cracked and he looked broken. "I love you,"

"I know but,"

"No it's my turn to talk." The tears ran faster down his face. "I love you so much. I love you so much that when you aren't here and I can't sleep at night I watch interviews you've done until I do just so I can fall asleep to your voice. You make me so happy. I'm better when I'm with you. I'm a better person with you in my life. And I can't imagine a life without you. You're the only one I want. I can't lose you. I don't care if you can't have kids, sometimes family's don't have kids and that's okay. We can be one of those. We can have fur babies instead I don't care. I just, I don't want someone else. I just want you."