It Be Like That Sometimes (Dallas Winston fanfic)

Chapter 18: Useless

(Trigger warning⚠️)
      Later that night, we all walked to the drive in. It was everyone but Dally. It felt so lonely without him. Sure I was great friends with everyone else especially Caitlin but it just didn't feel right. Dally always went to the movies with us. He would end up giving me a piggy back ride cause I would wear the biggest high heels I owned and my feet would be killing me. He would sneak me out during part of the movie to slash the tires of some of the no good Socs or Tim Shepard then sneak me back in.
This time felt even weirder. Darry came along. Darry never comes to the movies. People say he grew up too fast and has too many responsibilities but maybe he just like everyone else needed alone time. Maybe that's just what Dally needed. Some time with out someone clinging to him.
"Hey Darry." I smile up to him as we walked to the drive in. Darry was like a second dad to me. He always gave huge pep talks when I needed them most. I miss those days.
"Hey kid what's up?" He turned to the left leading us into the movies.
"Nothing much." I say blankly.
"Why don't you just focus on the movie tonight. Only the movie Hannah." He knew what I needed and tags the thing about Darry he always knew what everyone needed when they needed it.
"Thank you Darry." I smiled. He just nodded in return. I made my way to my chair then laid my eyes upon the screen. Focus on the movie Hannah. But as soon as I said that I swore I heard Dallas voice.
"Oh come on Hannah you know you can't focus on the movie." I heard his voice say but when I looked around I didn't see him. Just focus. "Oh come on you know you heard me." I heard a loud laugh like he was sitting right by me but when I looked around he wasn't there. I took one deep breathe then put my eyes back on the screen. "I know you miss me. If only you could see me." Dally said.
That's when I found out that this all happened in my head. I've been imagining him. I think about him so much that I'm starting to hear him. How desperate. I look around again just to clarify it's my imagination. It is.
"Hey two can you come with me to get popcorn?" I asked standing up.
"Sure Hannah anyone want anything?" He asked the crowded row of chairs filled with the gang.
"Can I get a coke?" Soda asked.
"That's cannibalism but whatever." I laughed walking over to the stands.
"Are you okay Hannah?" Two asked.
"Define okay. Cause quite frankly no." I looked down making him uncomfortable. We grabbed the stuff and walked back. I started to feel myself break down.
"You know what guys I can't do this I need to go." I jumped out of my chair and fast walked all the way to the gate. By now years we're starting to fall and I was using my shirt to wipe them away. Stop Hannah don't cry!
"Hannah you need to calm down." I heard him say again.
"Just leave me alone!" I yell to myself hopping I would stop thinking of him. Just keep walking. I walked all the way back to my house but before I entered I crossed my fingers. Please be in there. I enter my house then rush up to my room. I placed my shaky hand onto the door knob. "Please." I whisper.
When I walked into the room I didn't seem him. I didn't see much. I seen my journals now spread across my desk and my bed a little messed up. At least I could tell he was here for a while. Maybe he's tired. Maybe he wanted to go home. Oh what am I saying he left me he definitely left me.

Dallys p.o.v-
I decided Now was the time to go to the Curtis house to tell hannah I still need her and I still want to be with her. I walked out of her room and headed straight to the Curtis house.
I walked into the house, "Hannah I-" wait she's not in here. Actually the whole house was quiet. Was nobody home? I search in the kitchen then headed up to Caitlin's room. I knocked on her door but there was no response. I decide to just walk in. Nobody was there. I checked the other rooms and nobody was home. Shit.
I ran to the dingo. I ran as fast as I could. My long strides leading me down the road. In hopes I could find her.

Hannah's p.o.v-
Dally isn't here. He's probably at his place making out with some random girl already. I'm useless. Nobody loves me. Would anybody miss me? Dally wouldn't miss me. Caitlin has Lucas now. I'm no use. I'm not good enough for this world. I walked to my dresser and pulled out a journal.

"Dear anyone but mostly Dally. For the longest time I always thought I wasn't good enough. I was the let down of the family. Sure steve wasn't perfect but I completely messed up with everything I ever did. I always partied I couldn't keep a guy. But Dally when you came deeper into my life and I started to see you as someone other then just someone from the gang I started to think otherwise. I said I needed you and you must've thought that sounded so cliche but it wasn't. I needed you. You were one of the only things keeping me from thinking these thoughts. But now I'm back to square one. And sure I've wrote notes like these before and considered actually committing what I'm thinking but now it doesn't seem like a game. So if you do see this I'm sorry. I love you. I love you too steve and caitlin and everyone in the gang but I've lost too much too quick and although it doesn't seem like it everyone's mindsets are different. So if you see this goodbye and I'll miss you." I sighed the paper as a tear fell from my cheek landing right by my name.

I walked into my bathroom and searched for something sharp. I found my extra blade I placed on the counter while ago then grabbed the cold switch and was about to place it on my skin.Then I felt hands tightly grab onto my shoulders.