Fourth part of the [Gray Goodbye] project
XCIV
BUTTERFLIES
If I let go
Of these gray butterflies,
Will anyone notice
Them fly away
Into the vastness
Of longing
Of sadness
Of solitude?
Does anybody see
The small details,
The ink stains
On my wrists and fingers,
The type of clothing
That I often wear
The invisible tears
Every time I sleep?
Does anybody hear
The silent whispers,
The useless predictions
About my life
The senseless words
That I constantly speak
The intermittent gasps
Every time I sleep?
Does anybody smell
The subtle scents,
The watercolors
That I paint my face with
The raw blood
From the freshly wounded scars
The dry desperation
Every time I sleep?
Does anybody taste
The weak aura,
The black bitterness
Of my suppressed anger
The empty waters
That I fill my stomach with
The biting remarks
Every time I sleep?
Does anybody feel
A certain separation,
A dying desire
Floating in the sadness
A living shame
Inundated in regret
A miserable day
Every after I sleep?
For the day is weary
But the night is deep
And these gray butterflies
Are all I keep
For when I remember,
They will soon weep
And when I forget,
They will soon sleep
My gray butterflies
My freedom
My hopes
My reality
My strength
My weakness
My joy
My sadness
My gray butterflies
Saved me
Reborn in a world
Of perfection
In an endless scenery
Of quietness
A dimensional convergence
In my illusions
My gray butterflies
Loved me
In the breeze of spring,
I would lie on the grass
In the heat of summer,
I could smell the sea
In the color of fall,
I could tread in the forest
My gray butterflies
Wanted me
In the cold of winter,
I would sleep with my pillows
And remember the days
From spring to summer to fall
To all of the happiness,
I just wished I could stay
My gray butterflies
Led me
To a world of utter solitude
A world of perfect happiness
A world of overflowing love
Where memories never exist
Where hopes never fail
Where regrets never happen
My gray butterflies
Are my spirit
One true person
With a pure heart
A constant thoughtfulness
An unending trust
A fraternal bond
Can let them go
For these gray butterflies
Are idealizations borrowed
From the eternal life
That I always followed
Whilst I wait forever
In my body hollowed,
I will continue living
In joy or in sorrow
But I warn myself
That this can be tiring
So I keep my weapons close
Just in case I am dying
The fourth gray has been freed
The fifth will come in crying
Soundtrack inspiration: [In the End] by [Linkin Park]
YOU ARE READING
A Collection of Poems
PoetryThese poems are just some of the little pieces that make up my life. Whenever I get inspired by someone or something, I write a little story about it in the form of a poem. In a way, it helps me express what I have in my mind in a very vague way. I'...
