Mia Anderson

Part 24

It has been a couple of weeks since Nick and I broke up. I have been pretty broken but I have been trying to act ok in front of him. I was waiting in line with Kurt and Blaine at the Lima Bean. I was off in my own world but suddenly jump back into reality.

(Kurt) "Don't you think it's time for the Warblers to do a Joan Armatrading medley?"

(Blaine) "Um, I'm not so sure people know who that is."

(Sue) "Well, well. If it isn't my sweet, sweet Porcelain. I am trying so hard to think of a mean name for you beautiful brown eyed girl."

I turn around to see Coach Sylvester and Blaine and Kurt turn around as well. Before I could say anything Kurt beats me to it.

(Kurt) "Coach Sylvester. What are you doing here?"

(Mia) "Hey Sue."

(Sue) "Just picking up some coffee. I like my enemas piping hot. Actually, boys and girl, I heard that this was a Dalton Academy hangout, and I come in a spirit of fellowship. As you, no doubt, have heard, I've taken over for the coach of Aural Intensity."

(Kurt) "We heard you pushed him down the stairs."

(Sue) "No, you can't prove that."

I tilt my head towards Blaine.

(Mia) "This is just sort of how she talks."

Blaine nods his head.

(Sue_ "So, I happen to have some top secret intel. Will Schuester has finally realized that his team's Achilles Heel is their utter lack of sex appeal. The New Directions are getting sexy. And the key to Regionals is out-sexing them. And I suspect that the judges are scoring extra for it this year. So, Porcelain. Quid pro quo. Beautiful brown eyed girl. What do you have for me?"

(Kurt) "I'm sorry, Coach, but you and I are not in cahoots."

(Sue) "Probably should have nailed that down before I gave you my top secret intel. Porcelain, you just made a powerful enema."

Coach Sylvester the leaves and we just stand there. All I can think is 'What was the point of that?'

(Blaine) "We gotta hold an emergency meeting."

(Kurt) "Why?"

(Blaine) "Weren't you listening? The judges at Regionals have an eye out for something new, which means: Warblers gotta do something sexified. Sis? Give us a lesson or two?"

(Mia) "Fine."

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It was the next day and the warblers were going to have a rehearsal today so then I can in a way teach them about sex and how to be sexy. Blaine said he wouldn't come because he thought it would be weird watching me do the kind of stuff that I am going to do. Last night I got Sebastian to help me figure out a number to perform to the warblers. I stood at the front of the room with the guys sitting down on the couches in front of me. It was kind scary. Mainly because I was going to have to teach a group of teenager boys about sex and how to be sexy.

"Okay, so... sex. It's just like hugging, only... Umm... Only wetter."

I started to hear wolf whistles.

"Ok ok ok ok. Calm down. I feel like none or very little of you guys know much about sex and how to be sexy. Well, that's all going to end right here, right now. Because, today, we are going to get under the covers, all together, and get the ditty on the dirty."

Once again there was a room full of wolf whistles.

"Anyway, I want the sexiest man I know, who is in this room, to help me out with a little song. Sebastian. Come help me."