Season 4 (Discontinued)

Episode 7, Act 2 - Spice Up Your Life

Brittany made her way over to Kitty who was at her locker. "Guess what?" Brittany grinned. "Hi," Kitty said confused. "Everyone hates you," Brittany said seriously as Kitty gave her a look. "Excuse me?" She said horrified. "Maybe that's why nobody wants to work with you," Brittany shrugged as Kitty's face fell. "I'm trying to change, but my pastor says even Jesus took baby steps," Kitty sighed as she put her books in her locker. "Do you go to the Church of Satan? Because you're really mean," Brittany said seriously "You tell Marley that she's fat even though your face looks like a soccer ball, and we both know that blonds have magical powers, like doing the splits or turning Swedish. You need to use your magical powers for good and not evil. And that is why I'm inviting you to take off your Joker mask and bare your soul for the world to see," Brittany grinned as Kitty made a face. "What on God's good earth are you talking about?" Kitty asked confused as Brittany grinned as we cut to the 'Fondue for Two' theme song.

"Tonight's guest is McKinley High's biggest bitch, the girl with the weird lizard ears, Kitty," Brittany grinned to the camera as Kitty made a face. "Mm two things, that cat has about three weeks to live and this fondue smells like hot acrid barf," Kitty said looking over at Lord Tubbington and the fondue. "Thank you so much," Brittany grinned as Kitty made a face "So, Kitty, everyone at school hates you because you're a two-faced lying slut who no one can trust." "True. And yet everyone keeps telling me their secrets, so I must be doing something right," Kitty smirked. "Touche," Brittany nodded "I think the problem is that people haven't gotten to know you yet. So tonight, you, me and Lord Tubbington are gonna tell our deepest darkest secrets. You tell me your guilty pleasures and I'll tell you mine." Brittany then pointed at Kitty as she said "Go." "Guilty pleasure? Mm. I like to fart around old people and watch the look on their faces 'cause they just assume they did it," Kitty smirked. "That's awesome. Me, too," Brittany giggled "Okay, guilty pleasure. When I look at a white dog or cat, I assume that they're racist." Kitty made a confused face wondering where Brittany would get that from. "Lord Tubbington's guilty pleasure is Scientology," Brittany grinned as the camera panned to Lord Tubbington who is reading a book titled 'The Power of Scientology'. "Guilty pleasure. Bring it on," Brittany grinned. "Guilty pleasure. Bring it on again," Kitty said. "Guilty pleasure. Bring it on, all or nothing," Brittany grinned. "Bring it on, in it to win it," Kitty said. "Bring it on, fight to the finish," Brittany smiled brightly. "That one's horrible. There's no way you could like that," Kitty said shaking her head. "Guilty pleasure!" Brittany exclaimed to Kitty who shook her head. "No, I can't say," Kitty said. "No, you can't do that. Come on. This is the safe space. We're on the Internet," Brittany grinned as we cut to Tina watching Fondue for two in the library. "No. No. It's too horrible," Kitty shook her head. "Can you whisper it in my ear?" Brittany asked as Kitty whispered it in her ear as Brittany then exclaimed "Oh, my God."

Cut to the hallway as Brittany and Kitty are walking down it as Tina, Marley, and Unique approach them. "Stop! As loyal fans of Fondue for Two, we demand to know what your guilty pleasure is," Tina exclaimed. "Tell us," Marley begged. "None of your business," Kitty quipped. "Spice Girls," Brittany whispered as the girls all started to squeal. "I love the Spice Girls!" Marley exclaimed excitedly. "Okay, keep it down. People are staring," Kitty said shaking her head. "When I was little, I had the Spice Girl movie on a loop," Tina grinned. "Me too. I used to make their clothes out of my grandmother's sheets. I dreamed I was one of them. We must do the Spice Girls. It has to be done!" Unique exclaimed as the girls nodded in agreement. "And this fierce black woman will be Scary Spice." "Nothing scarier then a girl with a penis," Kitty quipped as the girls stopped smiling as Brittany shoved Kitty gently "Kidding," Kitty smiled hoping she hadn't ruined her chances of making friends.

Cut to the choir room where Tina has taken over. "Guys Kitty, just gave us a genius idea for something we could do this week," Tina grinned as the guys looked surprised that Kitty had said something. "Oh really? What are you wanting to do ladies?" Blaine asked. "Boy Bands vs. Girl Groups," Tina said as the guys seemed to murmur in agreement "Whoever picks the song that is the most guilty pleasure wins." "I say let's do it," Blaine grinned. "Yeah boy bands are like way more shameful than doing girl groups we are so going to win this," Sam exclaimed excitedly as the guys and girls split off for their meetings to discuss what songs they were going to do for the boys vs. girls week.