After Action [COMPLETED]

[SE] "ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS"

Written 18 September 2019

Honest question: do I act like I have all the time in the world everytime I post about something inappropriate on this page? Do I act like I don't care about my future because, somehow, there's something for me to fall back on? Lastly, do I act like a delusional lunatic on every animé-related rant I post on this very page?

I've been getting comments on my RA about getting a job, every time I lay bare my "degeneracy" here, and share it over there. And, to be honest, it does grate my nerves a little; all I can do, though, is deflect it by fucking around, because I've known that person for quite some time. It's not that I'm harboring any ill will at this point―totally useless. However, life's tough for someone whose childhood and teenage memories only revolve around being bullied for "being different" (fun fact: having childhood autism is no joke); of high expectations turned into disappointment; of being provided all the bare necessities, but not having any form of "support"; of being forced into taking a two-year course, in which I have no passion whatsoever, only to end up becoming a "useless weeb". And understanding the actions of other people―and their intentions behind it―can be taxing. I can only have two options: it's either you're just someone I know, for the most part―or you're someone I don't want to meet again.

About the main point: yeah, I do care about my future―I just don't want to be part of something that will only deteriorate my slowly-recovering mental health. I may be making excuses at this point, but―hey, being bullied does fucking wonders.