After Action [COMPLETED]

[SE] "LOSING THE EDGE"

Written 20 November 2019

I think I'm losing that edge . . . again.

Thinking back about what I was doing for many years after my graduation, I guess everything is ending swiftly. All the pain. All the suffering. All the "hard work" I've done, especially during the time when I can still write―for nothing. Now, here I am, waiting for that lucky break that will never come. Doing everything my father wanted me to do, which I don't even want. Then again, what are the options left for me?

And the trip to Porac last Sunday? I've only done it on a whim, just to give myself a break―even for just a day. There's no real, meaningful purpose to it. There never was one, to begin with.

Oh, and one other thing: I can surmise that, by the end of the year, all the money I've saved―for that gaming rig I'm supposed to aim for―will go down to zero. Again.

Maybe I should (terrible Russki accent) "burn down the neighbor's barn"―for real. I'm sure Ogata Hyakunosuke would be proud.