After Action [COMPLETED]

[SE] "MOMENT OF WEAKNESS, LACK OF SLEEP"

Written 04 November 2019

Let me have a moment of weakness once again.

Life's hard when you're alone―and lonely. It's especially hard when you have no one to talk to, no one to confide with, no one who understands you more than you understand yourself, no one who has been with you in good times and bad―or somewhere in between, and no one who has been with you since childhood. Not even my parents have understood me―nor have they tried to. Sure, I did get the things that a growing child needs in their formative years, but they have not asked what I truly wanted in life, nor they gave the emotional support I truly need, especially that this child―now a broken-down man, calls himself a "shadow"―was once afflicted with childhood autism.

Right now, I am just doing what they want me to do, just like with this "business" venture I'm now part of. But I am only doing it because I have a need for money. What I truly want to do, to write stories―and this I realized a little bit too late―I couldn't do, mainly because I am doing all things by myself. I have no connections, no one to rely on. And in a country where the only stories people knew of are stories of love, family, inspiration, and a "closeness" to "God", it seems that there is no place for a thriller writer like myself here.

Oh, how I wish I could start my life all over again . . .

Written 10 November 2019

Man. I just wanna sleep like a log all day. I can feel my body slowing down due to being awake for most of the day. And I am having an erratic sleep pattern―again. I'm not going to be surprised when, one day, I would get involved in a vehicular accident―whether minor or major.

Maybe we do another live stream tomorrow afternoon―in this context, today―if ever I am free? I might actually play 'Battlefield V' on my favorite haunt down the city proper.