After Action [COMPLETED]

[SE] "A NEW LOW POINT"

Written 23 September 2019

I think I have reached a new low point in my life.

As much as I am aware that an ideation of suicidal tendencies is the first sign of a deep-seated mental health problem, I just can't help but have those thoughts. I feel like I am actually "living to die" at this point. My passion for writing is at its dying moments, so to speak; I am crippled by overflowing thoughts inside my head―"thoughts" that, for some reason, I cannot find the right words for; my emotional numbness is so severe, I just could not see the intrinsic value of attachments in one's personal journey of life, overall.

In short, I am just living a "dangerously" boring life of self-imposed isolation.

In addition to this, there seems to be a "severe" lack of thriller novels on the bookshelves of a local second-hand bookshop in my place―which is the only thing that actually kept this "degenerate" going all this time.

As one person, who's following this page recently, said a while back: this is the Void calling me over "from the other side", beckoning me to join its dark yoke. Maybe I should befriend this . . . thing everyone's warning about? After all, I'm just a broken soul, who has nothing else more to lose.