♪breathe♪

♪it's brittany, b*tch♪

"all right. who can tell me who christopher cross is?" mr. schue asked whilst handing out sheet music.

britt quickly shouted, "he discovered america."

"close."

logan looked at his guardian, marveled, "you're kidding?"

"he did write an iconic chart topper- "sailing"," schuester elaborated.

kurt leaned into blake's ear, "i have a bad feeling about this lesson."

"never heard of him," blake admitted outwardly to her parental unit.

puck scoffed, "don't want to hear about him."

"now, some people think of the term "easy listening" as a bad thing but i'm gonna let this music speak for itself. you guys love lady gaga and the rolling stones and you guys are really good about putting it all out there but really good music can also be controlled and restrained. it doesn't have to attack an audience. it can let them come to you."

finn raised his hand, having read through the sheet music while he was talking, "how can you get caught between the moon and new york city? they're like a hundred miles apart."

"mr. schue, if i may, i think i speak for all of us when i say that it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky-smooth adult contemporary. it's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. however, there is a burgeoning facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. that this week, at the fall homecoming assembly the mckinley high school glee club perform a number by-" kurt paused for dramatic effect, "wait for it- ms. britney spears."

"sorry. kurt. . . no. no. i don't think she's a very good role model."

blake frowned at her teacher, "but, mr. schue, we kind of grew up with her."

"she's literally why i wanted to become a performer," tina informed them.

"i don't want to do britney," britt whispered, turning the room quiet.

mercedes frowned, "why no britney, brittany?"

"because my name is also britney spears," brittany announced, shocking everyone.

"what the hell is she talking about?" mercedes asked santana, knowing she was the only one who ever understood brittany.

"my middle name is susan. my last name is pierce. that makes me brittany s. pierce. brittany spierce. i've lived my entire life in britney spears's shadow. i will never be as talented or as famous. i hope you'll all respect that i want glee club to remain a place where i, brittany s. pierce, can escape the torment of britney spears."

mr. schue smirked, grateful that he had a justifiable excuse to say no to britney, "well, there you have it, guys. it's been decided. no britney. sorry."

kurt glared at britt from across the room, "thanks, britt. thanks a lot."

"leave brittany alone," blake told kurt.

britt smiled at blake, "thank you for understanding. it's been a hard road."

"um, can we move on?" rachel asked.

"yes. let's talk about michael bolton. "

☆

blake went to the dance studio while the football team was in practice, trying to memorize sue sylvester's difficultly choreographed routine. she finished the last pose as the music stopped, hearing slow clapping from behind her.

blake turned to she her brother, ready to go home, "i thought you're practice got done at 6?"

"it's 6:30 cass," logan told his sister, showing her his phone. "you must have been hard at work. that last routine looked really good."