♪breathe♪

♪sub♪

mr. schue stumbled into the choir room, walking to the whiteboard and writing sectionals, "all right, guys, um...time to start thinking about song selections."

santana looks puck up and down, "lookin' good, puckerman. someone's been eating their wheaties."

puck flexes his arms, "these guns are fully loaded."

"mr. schue? i, for one think we should use our set list for sectionals to start exploring the oeuvre of one bernadette peters," rachel asked, raising his hands.

britt stared wistfully at the door, "someday, i'm gonna go to paris and visit the oeuvre."

"i just want to dance," mike groaned to blake, plopping his head on her shoulder.

mercedes saw that their teacher looked like he was ready to hurl, "mr. schuester, you look a little green."

"um... i think i'm gonna go see the nurse. but first i feel like i should get you guys a sitter," will mumbled before passing out. mike ran to get the nurse as blake checked his pulse.

rachel went to the board, writing the word me across it, "class, in mr. schuester's absence, i'd like to go around and ask everyone what solos they'd like to hear me perform at sectionals."

santana launched herself at rachel, only to be caught by sam and logan, "all right, you know what? let me at her! ¡tú eres loca!"

"god just let her go," blake told sam and logan, who struggled to keep the angry latina contained. "i wanna see what she does."

finn's eyes grew wide as rachel started yelling, "blake?!"

"what? rachel thinks she's so great, let santana at her and see if she's singing that same song."

sam walked with blake out of the choir room after they managed to convince santana not to commit a murder, "were you seriously gonna let santana kill rachel?"

"nah, i planned on letting her get a good swing in before i stepped in. i may not like rachel but i'm not gonna let santana kill her," blake admitted, fixing her ponytail.

sam laughed at her evil smile, "you're an evil little soul, you know that?"

"oh sweetie, you don't even know the half of what i'm capable of," blake assured him, winking at him as she left for lunch.

later in the day, finn was lecturing blake about saying to let santana attack rachel when they walked into the choir room seeing puck on the floor, "dude, what are you doing?"

"kurt got us a substitute, so i'm buttering the floor," puck explained waving a stick of butter at blake, knowing she'd want in.

blake took the butter, "dude i'm so in."

"blake?!" mike yelled at her as she and puck rubbed butter on the ground.

blake groaned, looking up at mike, "oh come on let me have this, i'm a freaking cheerio now! you broke me!"

"fine," mike sighed, knowing that there was no way to convince him otherwise.

sam and logan looked at mike horrified, shocked that mike caved so easily, "mike!"

"but sectionals is, like, two weeks from now," finn says as though their shenanigans would be inhibiting them.