"It's getting harder each day, so much harder. It drains me to have to constantly put up a mask, hiding how I really feel behind a smile that isn't even true. I don't think I'll ever find that easy, because it's not. The easy part for me is lying, i...
"Diesel?" Felicity asked me, I nodded my head. "Depression, Insecurity, Emptiness, Sadness, Embarrassment and Loneliness. Diesel. He torments my dreams, he is the master of my nightmares. He's all my traumas put together." I said, Felicity nodded her head.
I could feel myself starting to fall asleep as I could hear Felicity's heartbeat. Although I wasn't directly lying my head on her heart, I was still able to hear the rhythmic beating of it. Her hand was knotted into my hair, pulling gently at my small curls in a calming way.
I tightened my grip around her waist, not enough to hurt her though. I heard her giggle, making a smile appear on my face. "Thank you Felicity." I mumbled out, my mind finally faded into a dreamless sleep. But not before I heard her mutter. "It's alright Cooper, but thank you too."
~~
I shifted around in my sleep, pulling the pillow in my arms closer to me. It's really warm... and soft... when did I get a new pillow? "Guys look how cute this is!" I heard, how cute what is? "He needs to be woken up, imagine if Grace saw him..."
"You move and I swear to god I'll staple your ass to the ground." Oh shit, I feel bad for that guy. I once again, moved closer to my pillow. But this time, it moved. What...the...fuck...
I slowly opened my eyes, my pillow had a pink fluffy cover... and was moving... I lifted my head up to see Felicity peacefully asleep. I was slightly confused, but then I remembered last night. I had set up the extra bed for Felicity, then went to sleep, then the night terror, Felicity gave me a hug and I fell asleep.
A small smile crawled onto my face as I hugged Felicity, I placed my head back on her stomach and tried to get back to sleep.
Key word: Tried
"Someone has to wake them up."
"Not me!"
"Well, I sure ain't."
"You guys are all sissy's."
"How about you all shut the fuck up because I'm already awake." I growled out, they all went silent. I opened my eyes to glare at them all, both my cousins and my stepbrothers. "I'm awake, now get. The fuck. Out. Of my room." I said, not leaving any room for argument. My cousins quickly obliged, pulling my stepbrothers out of my room at the same time.
I let out a sigh as I snuggled into Felicity, smiling as I felt her hand entangle into my hair. "They were very loud." I heard her mutter, causing me to chuckle. We laid like that for a while until a heavenly smell hit my nose. I shot up, probably scaring Felicity. "Pancakes. Mom made pancakes." I leapt off of my bed, pulling Felicity with me.
Felicity giggled as I pulled her along, dragging her down the stairs and into the kitchen. As we entered, everyone turned to face us. "I smell pancakes, where are they." I said, getting straight to the point. "Over here, Cooper." My mom said, showing me a stack of pancakes.
I ran over, grabbing about three or four pancakes, shoving one in my mouth without a care in the world. I glared at mom as she started to laugh. "Cooper, hon, you have to calm down there. I know you love pancakes but it's a big day today."
"Ot a ee doonnn?" I asked with a mouthful, causing everyone to start laughing. I took a few more bites before swallowing my food. "I said, what are we doing?"
"You are going out with your step brothers and Harrison to find tuxedos for the wedding on Wednesday." Mom said, I looked at her with my mouth open. "That's this Wednesday?" Mom nodded her head, I sighed in annoyance. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy my mom is happy and Harrison is a great guy, I could spend a day with him but I'd rather stay away from my stepbrothers... they're all assholes.
"Can Felicity come with me?"
"But you're going out for tuxedos... not dresses..." I glared at Blake who had a smug smile on his face. I turned to Felicity with an eye brow raised. "Licity? I need to talk to you anyway..." I said, hinting at last night, her eyes widened for a second before she understood what I was talking about.
"I want to go with Cooper... I-If that's okay..." I smiled as I stood up, walking over to Felicity and pulling her into a hug. It was my turn to have a smug smile, I looked directly at Blake. "Ha." Felicity wrapped her arms around me, hugging me back. I smiled as I looked down at Felicity, her head resting on my chest.
I met this girl three days ago and already she's made my life better, made my days brighter.
What is this girl doing to me?
~~
"Does this tux make my ass look fat?" I asked as I stood in the mirror, looking over my reflection. It was a blue three piece tuxedo, a white button up shirt, a blue metallic jacket and pants. A small black bow tie came with it too, mom loved bow ties.
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"It looks perfect Cooper, I'm sure your mama would love it." Felicity said, smiling as she looked at the tux. Her smile soon disappeared though, she looked around for a little before turning back to me. "Diesel?"
"Diesel is like I told you, he's my traumas put together. He only ever shows up when I'm at my lowest point, or at a specific month of the year."
"Why a specific month?"
"When it all started..." I whispered out, my voice cracking slightly. Felicity stood up, walking over to me and hugging my from behind. "You don't have to tell me, not yet at least. I know it will take time for you to open up, and I'm okay with that because I'm the same. We both need time and I know that we both will give that to each other."
I spun around, pulling Felicity into my arms. I nuzzled my face in the crook of her neck, taking a deep breath to calm myself down. "Thank you Felicity, for everything you've done. You've done so much for me in three days then anyone could in ten years. Thank you." We stayed like that for a little before I finally went and bought the suit. We now went to find Felicity a dress, mom had said that she was more than welcome to come with me to the wedding, I'll gladly bring her along.
Once Felicity picked a dress, we both headed to the food court. We had gotten our food and were trying to find a table when I was shoved to the ground. My drink went all over me, the cola making my hair sticky. Felicity was by my side in an instant, trying to dry my hair of the soda.
"Awe look, poor little Cooper has spilled his food all over himself. You should probably get your bitch to help you clean it up." Zeke sneered, I kept my head down as I knew he was standing right in front of me. I was to tired to make a smart ass comment, I didn't want any sort of beating today.
Do you know what the funny thing is? I always have hope that someone cares, that someone will step in and stop Zeke, put him in his place. But something about him terrified people, this is a small town yet everyone knew who he was. So when this sort of thing happened... even in a mall... no one helped me.
Everyone was watching, waiting for what was to happen. Everyone could see that I was being picked on for no reason, that it was the weak versus the powerful, but did anyone step in?
No.
Of course no one fucking stepped in.
I stood up, grabbing Felicity's hand, our bags and left. I left behind Zeke, his gang of assholes. I left behind every standby'er that just watched, left me alone. I took Felicity and left, I took courage in the fact that I was able to just walk away so easily, that doesn't just happen.
