𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒

~"She's my cure, my saviour."~

*One week later*

I woke up early this morning, my heart racing at what today was. A week from Christmas, I visit Dad and Jax today. I got up and went into the shower, I took a long, hot shower before getting off and drying myself off.

I put my towel around my waist before brushing my teeth, I used some mouth wash because damn, my mouth stunk! I went back into my bedroom and over to my drawers, I picked out some blue jeans, my black Metallica shirt and a fluffy grey hoodie.

I made my way downstairs, Harrison, Blake and Xavier were in the kitchen. I went over to the fridge, pulling out a cold apple. Yes, I put an apple in the fridge so it would be cold. Stop judging me.

I took a bite as I sat down, staring blankly at the table. "You okay there Cooper?" I glanced up at Harrison, he had a concerned look on his face. I nodded my head as I stood up, checking I have the presents before heading to the door. "Where are you going?" Harrison asked, I held up the presents, shaking them slightly. "To give someone their present early."

"That doesn't exactly say where you're going dumbass." Xavier said, I couldn't even be bothered glaring at him. "You want to know where I'm going? Forever Rest In Peace." I said, throwing a completely obvious hint before walking out of the door.

I made my way to the graveyard, stopping by a dairy to get some flowers. After ten minutes of walking, I was at the graveyard again. I found myself walking over to their gravestones, I've been here so many times that I could find them with my eyes closed.

I sat down in front of them, a small smile on my face. "Merry early Christmas guys, I thought I'd keep tradition and bring you guys a present a week early. Dad, for you I got you this mug that says 'Best dad ever', I'm gonna put the flowers in it and here's the ring you gave me." I unwrapped dad's present, I dug a small hole in the ground, placing the mug in it. I placed the ring over the stem of the flowers before putting them in the mug and filling it with soil.

"And Jax, I got us matching bracelets. On the back of yours it says Forever my friend, always my brother. And on mine it says Always my brother, forever my friend."

I opened up the bracelets, putting mine on my wrist and placing Jax's by his other things. I had a small smile as I looked at them both.

[The bracelet(s)^]

"So, Christmas is a week away, I've been nice and I've gotten everyone a gift. I'm getting my friend Damian some tickets to a band he wants to see, I got a lock and key bracelet and necklace for my other friend Felicity... that reminds me, I went to a masquerade a few weeks ago, I wore a suit and a mask for it. I went with Felicity and Damian... Felicity looked so nice... she had a beautiful purple dress, purple heels and a mask to match... I could imagine you with us Jax, I could imagine you being the life of the party and making everyone laugh..." I said with a small laugh.

"You know, everything would be so much nicer with you both here, I'm sure you would have loved to be friends with Damian, Jax. He's a lot like you, ya know. He's very energetic and bubbly, he's from England and his accent is kinda funny. He makes everything happy with his laugh, his smile and his stupid jokes. He's a lot like you..."

"It's getting harder each day, so much harder. It drains me to have to constantly put up a mask, hiding how I really feel behind a smile that isn't even true. I don't think I'll ever find that easy, because it's not. The easy part for me is lying, it always has been. Telling them I'm fine always works. But the hardest thing... the hardest thing is realising that no one hears my pleads, my cries and my screams... leaving me to fix my broken mind."

"But Felicity... she was different, she heard my pleads, my cries and my screams. She heard me and saw that I was struggling, struggling to put my mind back together. So she helped me. She's my cure, my saviour, a fallen angel that needs saving herself. She's helped me in so many ways and I will repay her by fixing her broken wings, giving her the chance to fly once more. But by saving her, I know I risk losing her. I risk having her fly away, maybe she might never return. But it's worth that sacrifice, it's worth losing her if it means she's no longer broken."

"She's my cure, my saviour, but she's also my curse... my worst enemy... because when she leaves, I know I'll break again..." I spoke truthfully, not literally about the fallen angel bit... but it's sorta true. I swear she is like an angel, fallen to earth because her wings are broken, ripped to shreds by her horrid so called father.

"That's why I got the lock and key bracelet and necklace... she has the key, she's the only one that can free me. Just like how she's the only one that can unlock the bracelet... in a way, I'm telling her that she has the key to my soul... I-if that makes any sense..." I laughed a little, god I probably sound so sappy. Love and all that has never been my forte.

That's why I'm sarcastic, closed off and serious. If I'm sarcastic, no one knows if I'm joking or not which can make things easier. I close myself off from the world so no one can pry into my life, and I'm serious because I have nothing to be happy about...

At least I didn't back then... now, I've got Felicity. I've got Damian and I've got James. They care for me, they see I'm hurt. They don't treat me like I'm broken, but instead that I'm just human... I don't want to be treated like I could break at any second, I want to be treated human. Yes, humans do break, but they don't go around careful of every single step, of every shadow and every person...

That's what I want to be like.

I want to be normal...

Because normal is human, right? That's what I want to be, I want to be like everyone else, happy and full of life... not dull and completely empty.

That's all I want...

I want to be human... because they feel things, they feel joy and love and happiness! They have feelings other than sadness, depression, loneliness and empty... I want to be like them...

I just want to fit in...