𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒

~Lake pt.2~

Felicity nodded shyly, she started to pull her shirt off and I took that as my queue to turn around. I brushed my hair out of my face as I waited for a splash, or any sign that Felicity was in the water.

She must have slowly walked in because I jumped (as much as you can in a lake) when she clamped onto my back, her legs wrapping around my waist while her arms hung around my neck, her head rested on the back of mine.

I could feel myself blush as I felt her... "chest" pressed against my back, how is she so calm? I let her hang on to me, I brought one of her hands to my lips, placing a small kiss on her knuckles. I smiled as I heard her giggle lightly, sending a small vibration up my back.

I made my way over to the shore, I rested my arms on the soft grass, placing my head between them. Felicity stayed on my back, her soft breath tickling my neck. I let out a content sigh as I let my eyes slipped closed, I wasn't sleeping, just resting my eyes. I felt so calm and happy right now, as much as it was a bit awkward having Felicity so close to me in so little clothes... I was quite content with everything. Felicity made me feel happy and content... that's what I needed right now.

I rolled over, lifting Felicity up and placing her back down on my stomach. She snuggled back into me, her head rested by my neck, her arms wrapped around my waist. Her legs floated in the water with mine as I brushed my fingers through her wet hair. She let out a sigh of warm breath on my neck, causing me to chuckle.

"You comfy there princess?"

"Mhmm." She breathed out, I wrapped my free arm around her waist, my thumb running circles on the small of her back. She tightened her grip around my waist, I was almost certain she was nearly asleep. "Felicity?"

"Yeah?" She moved her head slightly, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I want to tell you about my brother and dad... about how they died." I told her, she lifted her head to look up at me. "You don't have to Cooper."

"I know... I want to." Felicity laid her head back by my neck, her breath tickling my skin. I brushed my fingers through Felicity's hair as I started to speak. "I was seven, I had been sitting in my room by myself. Dad and Jax were playing on the Xbox, they had been ignoring me for two weeks straight. Whenever I tried to speak, the acted like they didn't hear anything, whenever I tried to interact with them, they... pushed me away... one night I just got sick of it."

"I went into the living room, I tried to talk and I was ignored. I then stood in front of the tv and the attention I got... my brother shouted at me, my dad took his side and told my to get out of the way... I lost my shit. I broke the tv and screamed at them, saying how it was unfair that they leave me out of everything, that they ignored me all of the time. By the end of my rant... I was in tears."

"But I couldn't stand to be in the same room as them... so I ran. I ran away from the house and ended up at the park. I was there for hours when mom finally came and picked me up... but something was wrong... mom then told me that dad and Jax were dead... it was like my whole world stopped, all the joy and happiness I once felt had gone, the birds stopped chirping and all of the colour was gone, leaving a grey world."

"On the day of the funeral, I sat there with tears streaming down my face. My family tried their best to make me feel better, the said "I'm sorry" and "they deserved better" and it pissed me off. It pissed me off because I knew they were just saying that to make me feel better because out of everyone, I took it harder than anyone. I took it harder because in my mind, I knew it was my fault... it was my fault that they were dead. So... I pushed everyone away, I pushed everyone back so that they couldn't see the guilt that surrounded me..."

I could feel the tears in the back of my eyes, I had hated everything about the funeral. From the fact that I watched them be placed in the ground to the pity I received from everyone. They all acted as if they cared about me, but if they cared they would have noticed everything. They would have noticed how depressed I was, how empty and alone I felt. They would have seen the pain in my eyes and the cloud of guilt that hung around me like a bad smell... but they didn't.

No one did.

"The worst part... the worst part is knowing that they both died thinking I hated them... thinking that I didn't like them and that I didn't want to be around them... and I think that's what broke me completely. Not the bullying or the beatings, not the suicidal thoughts or the depressing nights... it was the fact that I am the reason they are dead and that I can never take that night back. Because if I could, I would do it in a heartbeat. I'd take back everything I had said, every bad thing I had done and I would have shown them how much they really meant to me. If I could... I'd take their place..."

Felicity lifted her head up, her eyes looking deeply into mine. Her hand made its way up to my face, cupping my cheek. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that Cooper, no one should have to go through that kind of thing. And it's not your fault Cooper, they were the ones that ignored you but I'm sure if they were here, you three would be closer than ever." I smiled at Felicity, she knew how to make me feel better.

"Thanks Licity, you always know what to say." I placed a kiss on her forehead, smirking as I saw her blush. She laid her head back down, her fingers making patterns on my chest. "I was six, I just came home from school when I heard mama and papa fighting. It was a usual thing for them to fight, or rather papa would shout and mama would cower. I walked into the kitchen and mama was hiding in the corner, hiding her head in her hands as papa stood there with a broken beer bottle in his hands."

"I could see marks on mama and knew that he had hurt her. That made me mad, mama was the world to me and papa had hurt her. So... I did the only thing I could think of. I ran in front of mama and told papa to leave her alone. What he did next scared me... he hit me. It wasn't just a normal "you've done something wrong" hit... it was a drunk, rage induced hit... because you don't just hit your daughter with a beer bottle."

"From that day on, it was a regular thing. Mama would prevent papa from hitting me as much as she could but even she couldn't stop him... so if mama was out of the picture, I was his punching bag. This went on till three months ago... he was finally arrested for assault, child abuse, sexual assault and something else I can't remember..." I felt my eyes widen as she said "Sexual assault" he didn't... did he?

"Your dad... he didn't... you know... rape you did he?" I asked with a shaky breath, I could only hope that she would give me the answer I was looking for. "No, he didn't rape me. But he did have his way with mama..." She said, her voice sounded forced. I lifted her head up to see tears filling her eyes, a few falling down her face.

I wiped them away with my thumb, not wanting to see such a pretty girl cry..- did I just call her pretty? Well I mean... it's true... "Don't cry princess, he isn't worth your tears and he sure as hell isn't worth the title of father. But what matters is that you're here and you're safe. He can't hurt you and that's what matters, you're safe with me and I promise I will protect you if he ever comes for you." I said, I placed a kiss on her forehead. "I promise."

"Thank you Cooper, and I promise I'll bring light back into your world..."

Oh Felicity... you already have...