𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒

~Numb~

I walk up some time in the afternoon, I felt completely numb. I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry, I just felt empty. I felt numb.

Some of the nurses tried to ask me how I felt, if anything hurt. All I said was "numb." Because that was how I felt.

Mom was there when I woke up, just as she said she would. Harrison had gone to pick Blake up from school, he had wanted to come see me.

I laid on the bed, listening to my music out loud as I was bored out of my mind. But hey, at least a good song came on...

"I'm a whisper lost upon wind
I'm the ember that'll burn you down
I'm the water that'll drown you
I'm a star that's just a black hole now
I'm a terrifying danger
I'm a fruit decaying on the ground
I'm a swallower of anger
I'm the tree that falls that makes no sound
I make no sound

'Cause if I stand up, I break my bones
And everybody loves to see it fall unfold
Ain't nobody giving up
Cause nobody gives a fuck
Stand up, and break my bones
Everybody wants what they just can't hold
There's nobody praying for me

I am fungus in the forest
I'm a lizard with a poisoned tongue
I'm the child in the manger
I'm the one who sacrificed his son
Rust is showing on my armor
I am lazing like an old man done
I'm a product of my anger
I'm the bullet in a loaded gun

Stand up, I break my bones
Everybody loves to see it fall unfold
Ain't nobody giving up
'Cause nobody gives a fuck
Stand up, and break my bones
Everybody wants what they just can't hold
There's nobody praying for me

If I stand up, I break my bones
Everybody loves to see it fall unfold
Ain't nobody giving up
'Cause nobody gives a fuck
Stand up, break my bones
Everybody wants what they just can't hold
There's nobody praying for me

There's nobody praying for me"

I sang quietly to the song, but it appears I wasn't quiet enough since mom and one of the nurses started clapping. "You have a really nice voice Cooper, you should sing more often!"

"Thanks, but singing is my own thing, I'd rather not share that." I said as I looked for another song.

Before I could hit play, the hospital door opened. Harrison and Blake walked in, they both smiled as they saw me. Normally, I'd smile back, but I couldn't even be bothered doing that.

"Hey Cooper." Blake said as he sat down, I glanced over at him. "Hey." I felt a smile crawl over my face as I saw the familiar crow crawling up my legs and towards me. I completely forgot that people were here as I reached out to pick up bullet.

I sat her on my chest as leant back against the bed. "Good girl." I muttered as I stroked her crimson black feathers. Everyone in the room looked at me weirdly. "C-Cooper... who are you talking to?" Mom asked me, I smiled as I continued to pat Bullet. "Her name's Bullet, she's a beautiful black crow, she's Suicide's pet." They all looked between each other before looking back at me.

"I know you all can't see her... that's because she's in my head... she doesn't exist... but I like to think she does..." I hadn't even noticed that a nurse left the room, coming back with an older looking man. Bullet snuggled further into me, I smiled.

My smile quickly fell as she bit me, her claws sinking into my arms. "Ow!! You fucking bit me!!" I shouted, shoving her away as I looked at my arm. Except, nothing was there, of course not, she isn't real. She tried to come back over to me, I kicked her away. "Fuck off Bullet, why don't you go play around with void huh? I'm sure he'd love some company wouldn't he?" I growled, Bullet disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

I now noticed the man standing beside me, that and everyone was staring at me. I felt very small as I shrunk back, pulling my legs and arms closer to me as I tried to disappear. "There's no need to hide Cooper... but could you tell me about the bird?"

"Her names Bullet, she's a black crow that has skulls for eyes. She's Suicide's pet."

"Who's Suicide?" The man asked, I looked around for some pen and paper. Once I had some, I started to draw as I explained. "There's eleven of them in total, two main ones, nine smaller ones. Suicide is one of three, Suicide is very excitable, he puts me in a good mood a lot of the time. The other two, Agony and Misery. They're mean. Agony is normally quiet but whatever he does, it brings me pain. Just like Misery."

"The other six smaller ones are Depression, Insecurity, Emptiness, Sadness, Embarrassment and Loneliness. Depression and Sadness are like Misery and Agony, mean and harsh. Insecurity, Emptiness and Embarrassment are... they make me feel awful, like I want to crawl away and hide for enternity. But those six, they make up Diesel."

"Diesel, he's horrible, he's almost like smoke, he's there but he's not. Whenever he's around, I feel empty, depressed. I constantly want to hide and I always want to cry. He haunts my dreams... a lot."

"So who do Suicide, Agony and Misery make up?" The man asked, I felt my heart drop. "Sam." I whispered out... feeling tears spring to my eyes. I shook my head as a small sob escaped my lips, mom rushed over to me, checking that I hadn't hurt myself or something.

I looked back up at the man, shaking my head as I thought about Sam. "Sam is a monster, he's worse than all of them combined... he hurt me... far more than anything else did... the first night he visited me, he told me I couldn't tell anyone, I had to keep the secret."

"What was the secret Cooper?"

"He would feed on me, or rather my blood. He came every night, forcing me to hurt myself so he could satisfy himself. I was his living blood bag... and I couldn't tell anyone."

"Why couldn't you tell anyone?"

"Because he would have killed me."