𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒

~"They aren't just in my head anymore!!"~

I picked up my now extremely heavy bag, making my way downstairs. I sat down on the couch, watching whatever was on TV while I waited for Damian to show up. Xavier, Blake and James were sitting in the room. I let out a large yawn, I felt so tired yet I didn't want to sleep, so what do I do?

I opened my bag, popping open the Mountain Dew packet and grabbing a can. I pulled it open, taking a large sip of it. They all stared at me for a second, I brushed their stares off as I took another sip. "How many Mountain Dew cans do you actually have in there?" Blake asked, going to grab one. I kicked his hand away as I zipped my bag shut. "Fuck off, they're mine. Damian is the only one who gets one."

"Why does he get one?"

"Because he's my friend."

"But I'm your brother!" Blake said, my eyes went wide. Blake looked at me weirdly before his eyes went wide, just like James and Xavier. Before any of us could speak, mom walked into the living room. "You boys okay?"

"Fine." Blake said, turning his gaze back to the TV. I was busy trying to work out if I should be offended or not to notice mom sit down beside me. She took the can from my hand, causing me to whip my head in her direction. She smiled at me as she took a sip. "That was mine."

"It's still yours, I just wanted a sip." Mom said casually as she handed the can back to me. "I bought that though..."

"And I gave birth to you, your point Cooper?" Mom said, I heard Xavier snicker, I ignored him and spoke, instantly regretting what I said. "Never asked you to." Mom turned to me with a look of shock and also heart break. My eyes went wide and I immediately tried to fix my mistake. "N-No! That's n-n-not what I-I meant! I-I- It just slipped out- Mom I-I'm sorry!" I said frantically, Mom didn't say a word as she just stared at me.

Without saying anything, mom stood up and left the room. I placed my head in my hands as I accepted defeat, I just have to go and fuck everything up. "Perché devo rovinare tutto..." [Why do I have to ruin everything ...] I muttered, pulling tightly at my hair.

"You always fuck everything up... don't you Cooper... god, now your own mother probably hates you." Insecurity whispered in my ear, I didn't have to turn around to know he was sitting right beside me. "Fottiti, so di aver fatto un casino, okay? Ma perché devi farmi sentire peggio al riguardo?" [Fuck off, I know I fucked up okay? But why must you make me feel worse about it?]

"Dude who are you talking to?" Xavier asked, I shook my head with a dry laugh. "No one." Just then, the front door opened. "Mission accomplished! Escape Stacey is a success!" Damian shouted as he walked into the living room. He had his usual happy mood, but it quickly fell when he looked at me.

I didn't notice that I had a few tears running down my face, I probably looked like shit though, I was on the verge of a mental breakdown... although I'm always having a mental breakdown...

"Is it that bad?" Damian asked, his smile disappearing to show how concerned he was. I nodded my head, a small sob escaping my lips. "It's that's bad." I responded, I could feel my mental breakdown building at the second. I just wanted to scream, to scream and to cry. I wanted to scream for Felicity to come back, to tell me what was wrong, what I did wrong. I wanted to cry to mom, to tell her that I was sorry, because I was. That what I said I didn't mean to hurt her, but I still meant it in a way because I do wish I wasn't born.

"Shit, calm down mate, please don't do this! I don't know what the fuck to do!" Damian said as he rushed over to me, at least he noticed that I was starting to freak out. "Can we just go now? I need to get away and think." I whispered out with a strained voice, Damian looked at me for a second, he nodded his head and stood up. "Let's go." I stood up and grabbed my bag, I walked towards the stairs, hoping mom was up there.

"Mom, I'm uh... going camping with Damian, we will be back in a few days... I love you mom." With that, Damian and I left.

~~

"It's so much worse!! It's only been two fucking days and everything has gotten so much fucking worse!!" I cried, pulling at my hair as Damian sat in front of me, he wasn't quite sure what to do but just having him listen was enough for me.

"What do you mean by worse?"

"They aren't just in my head anymore!! They actually walk beside me!! They appear at certain times, leave the next. Earlier when I went to the store, Suicide popped up beside me, told me how fun a fucking building looked to climb! Then when we got home he decided to tell me that maybe Felicity isn't worth it. After I said something to mom, Insecurity came up and made me feel worse about it!"

"They aren't just in my head anymore!! They are like literal demons now! Following me wherever I walk, invisible to others yet they are so vivid to my eyes!! Something is going on, I know it is... something is wrong and either they are trying to warn me... or they are trying to make it happen... I'm scared..."

Damian pulled me into a hug, knowing I needed it. I sobbed as I pulled at my hair, my scalp beginning to burn. "It sucks doesn't it..." I looked up to see Misery leaning against the door frame, his wings hung loosely around him as he stared at me. He had black eyes, almost like shadowy pits in his face. "Just fuck off,
Please! I don't want you around! Just fuck off back inside my head!" I shouted, Damian didn't say anything, he quickly picked up that I was talking to one of them.

"No... I don't feel like leaving... I think I'll stay here." He said, a mischievous grin on his face. I let out a sigh of defeat, who am I kidding? I can't get rid of them... I'm stuck with them, I have no cure to send them away... at least not anymore I don't...

Felicity was the cure, she kept my mind silent and these monsters at bay... but now she's gone...

I need Felicity back...