𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒

~Panick attack~

C O O P E R

"...Yes?" I smirked at Felicity, an idea popping into my head. "So you do like Chocolate milkshakes? Well... I don't want to hog it all..." Before Felicity could react, I pulled her into a hug, rubbing my chocolate covered hair on her cheek. She let out a squeal as she tried to escape my grip, I kept a tight hold on her.

After a second I stopped, I looked down at Felicity, my eyes meeting hers. I suddenly remembered how I had shouted at her, telling her to just leave. My smile fell, turning into a frown as I looked at Felicity. "I'm sorry..." I muttered out, not looking away from her like I normally would.

"It's okay Cooper, you didn't mean it."

"Don't say it's okay... it's not. There's no point telling a lie, it won't solve anything." I finally looked down at the ground, not wanting to meet her gaze. My arms slipped from around her waist, sliding till the hung loosely by my side.

I sat down on one of the dining room chairs, resting my elbows on my knees as I fiddled with my fingers. "Cooper... we had such an amazing day yesterday. Please don't let what Amy did ruin your day..."

"It's hard not to ruin a day Felicity... every day can start out good, only to take a turn and change to an utterly crap day. And when that happens, you can't stop it." Felicity knelt down in front of me, holding my hands in hers as I continued to rant. "What's the point? Sooner or later everything turns crap. Just because today might be a sunny day doesn't mean tomorrow won't be a shit rainy day. Things can turn like that, and for me, it always goes bad. Why bother anymore? I try to have a good day and it just gets ruined... why do I even bother..."

I looked up and finally noticed my step brothers all staring at me. James and Blake has a concerned look on their faces while Xavier had a scowl. Carlos just sat emotionless. I could feel myself panicking, why? Had they found out? Do they know what I'm hiding? Do they know about Jax? Oh god...

I could feel my breathing start to pick up, my throat closing as I tried to breath. My hands began to tremble in Felicity's hold, my mind started to spin and my vision became blurred. Why am I panicking? Are they watching?

Everything felt like it was closing around me, trapping me in my spot on the seat. I couldn't move, my hands trembled violently and my vision faded in and out. I could vaguely see Felicity in front of me, trying to calm me down.

I clenched my eyes shut, trying to focus on my breathing... my breathing... I can't breathe... oh my god I can't breath! Nothing is coming in! A panicked groan escaped my lips, my anxiety rising at the fact I couldn't breathe.

Every time I tried to breathe, I felt my throat close, preventing the air from getting to my lungs. A sob escaped my lips, taking away more of the precious air I so badly craved right now.

I felt two warm hands against my face, the thumbs rubbing over my cheeks in a calming way. "Cooper..." Felicity, her voice was right next to my left ear. My body let out a shudder in response. "I need you to breathe Cooper." I let out another sob, trying my best to take a deep breath in.

It ached my throat, as though I were swallowing a Cheese grater, the metal ripping at the walls of my throat. But air finally filled my lungs, slowly but I could actually breath. I let out a long breath before trying to take another.

Felicity's hands disappeared from my face, all of a sudden, it became hard to breathe again. I let out another sob, this time, I felt arms surround me, pulling me into a hug. The person whispered in my ear, I was shocked to hear a completely different voice. "You need to breathe Cooper." James whispered to me.

I opened my eyes, looking around. My step brothers were all standing in front of me, staring at me. Please stop staring... I looked around for Felicity, but I didn't see her anywhere.

My hands shook again, my whole body trembled in response. I squeezed my eyes shut, blinking away the tears. I tried desperately to breathe, pulling in air in large gasps, only to have small amounts reach my lungs.

A hand touched my cheek, causing my eyes to fly open. Felicity stood in front of me, one hand on my cheek and the other by her side, holding a white bottle. She popped the lid open, two pills fell into hand, I only now realised it had left my face.

She moved the pills towards my, I squeezed my eyes and mouth shut, shaking my head as I started to silently sob. "Buddy, please just take the pills." James whispered to me, I shook my head again.

What I did not expect was for Felicity to place a kiss right beside my lips, causing my mouth to open in shock. She placed the pills in my mouth, I tried to spit them out. She held my mouth shut, causing my panic to once again rise. "Cooper, you need to swallow them." Felicity told me in a soft voice.

I didn't trust it, the last time I had pills forced down my throat, it didn't end well. I shock my head vigorously, tears falling down my face. "Cooper... please..." I opened my eyes to see Felicity's scared face, a pleading look in her eye. I found I couldn't resist...

I obliged to her command, swallowing the pills. I felt them fall down my throat, landing in the pit of my stomach. I tried to steady myself, taking as deep a breath as I could manage before slowly letting it out.

"Breath in and out Cooper, in, and out." Felicity told me in a calm voice. I once again did as she said, taking in deep breaths, letting them go slowly. After doing this for about seven or eight times, I finally calmed down. My breathing was normal, my mind was calm and stray tears fell down my face.

I quickly wiped them away, only now remembering the chocolate milkshake that covered me. "Cooper." I looked up at Felicity, she was standing with the pills still in her hands. "W-w-What were th-those?" I asked hesitantly. "Those were antidepressants... you were having a panic attack." She told me, a sad smile on her face.

I was acutely aware of everyone's eyes on me, and I honestly hated it. "Well... there's a first for everything right?" I said with a small hint of humour, Felicity gave me a small smile. She reached out, grabbing ahold of my hands as she pulled me away from James and into her arms.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, taking a deep breath of her strawberry and Lavender scent. Usually I wasn't a fan of Lavender... but Felicity made it work. "As much as I love Chocolate Milkshakes and hugs, you're starting to stink, please go hop in the shower." I gave Felicity a small chuckle before doing as she had said (again) and made my way upstairs and to my bathroom.

As I showered, one thought alone raced through my head.

Why did I have a panic attack?