𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒

~"Our dicks would be pretty useless..."~

I weakly climbed out of bed, making my way into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, I had a tear stained face, my eyes were red and puffy and I look horribly sleep deprived.

I pulled off the small amount of clothes I had on before I pulled off the bandages and threw them in the bin, I climbed into the shower, letting the water wash over me.

I looked at the marks on my arms, Sam had visited me again last night... although he never really left after that... dream. Five marks on one arm, three on the other.

I question why Sam does this... why he causes me this much pain... but I don't think I'll ever get my answer.

I washed my hair, face, body and especially my arms. Once I was out, I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked over to the sink. I had bags under my eyes, my skin was a bit paler than usual and my eyes looked lifeless.

I ignored it as I dried my arms, re-bandaging them before drying my hair. I brushed my teeth, using a bit of mouthwash before walking into my room.

Once I was dressed in my usual attire, I made my way downstairs. Harrison, Damian, Blake and Xavier were in the kitchen. Damian and Blake were talking about something while Xavier was on his phone. "Ah! Morning Cooper!" Harrison said, I sent him a smile.

"Morning Harrison." I mumbled, my eyes drooping slightly. Harrison looked at me with concern but I just pushed it aside as I got myself some breakfast.

I sat down, across from Blake and beside Damian. I was slightly shocked when Damian grabbed ahold of my face, lifting it up and prying my eyes open. "Dude... did you come out of the walking dead or some shit? You look like a damn Zombie..." Damian muttered, I just sent him a look. "I feel like a fucking Zombie... might go find Negan and ask him to put me out of my misery." I said, letting my head drop onto the table with a thud.

I heard Damian wince. "Shit man... let me just ready my zombie apocalypse equipment and I'll go find him. Have you slept?"

I lifted my head up, swaying slightly from the quick movements. "I heard drugs do wonders... you think one would wake me up? Or even better, knock me the fuck out so I can sleep..." I said, letting out a small laugh at the thought of me high. "Can you imagine what I'd be like high? Lord Satan save your souls cause I know shit would be bad." I chuckled, if you case haven't noticed, I become very... how do I put this?

When I haven't slept in a fair few days, I become badly sleep deprived. I don't faint or anything like that... nah, I kind of come off as though I'm either high or off my ass drunk. So I become very giggly, I joke a lot and I start to question a lot of things... like-

"Do you guys ever wonder what would happen if like... we couldn't have babies or shit like that? Our dicks would be pretty useless..." I said, my eyes wide like I had just discovered something horrific.

Blake and Damian burst out laughing, Xavier rolled his eyes while Harrison seemed to be in thought like I was. "Just imagine! ... having no balls since sperm wouldn't be a thing." I said, taking a sip of my drink. Blake and Damian couldn't breath by now while Xavier was now trying to hold back laughter. Harrison was still thinking like I was.

"Oh! You know those fish that can change gender if there aren't enough females and they can still like... give birth to babies and shit like they were always females... imagine if like... we could do that. Just think, not enough females in the world and you're just like 'well shit let me just-' then click your fingers and bam! Your dick is gone and you have a vagina and a fully functioning female reproductive system."

Xavier burst out laughing, rolling on the floor with Damian and Blake while Harrison turned to me with a laugh. I turned to see my mom standing in the doorway of the kitchen, her eyes wide as she stared at me. "And imagine if you could just snap your fingers and bam! Fully functioning dick and balls!" I said, mom choked on her drink as Harrison joined the other three in their fits of uncontrollable laughter.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT'S THE BEST SHIT I'VE EVER HEARD!!!" Damian shouted as he stood up, wiping away the tears from his eyes as he tried to calm himself down.

Eventually everyone calmed down, their faces red from laughing so much. Damian patted my shoulder, pulling me into a side hug. "God, just seeing you like this. I'd love to see what you're like when you're high!" Damian said, I gave him a sly smile as I took a bite of my breakfast. "Get me something and I'm willing to try."

"Cooper!" Mom shouted as she swatted the back of my head, I let out a groan, feeling a head ache hit as she did that. "Ow. That actually really fucking hurt." I said through clenched teeth. Mom went to swat me again, I growled. Like actually growled, like a fucking wolf or some shit. Mom stared at me with wide eyes, just like everyone else.

"It was just a joke, but thanks for feeling like you had to hit me." I growled out, I took another bite of my breakfast. Pain crashed down on me, my head pounding furiously. "Try to relax." Suicide said, Bullet flew onto my shoulder, rubbing her feathers soothingly against my neck.

I let out a small sigh, closing my eyes as I did as Suicide said, trying to relax. I opened my eyes again, taking a deep breath as I stood up and grabbed my bag. "You coming?" I asked Damian. "U-uh Yeah, let me go get my bag." He said before rushing off.

I waited till he came back down, once he was here, we started to leave. "Bye." I said as I left, I didn't wait for anyone to respond as Damian followed me inside. "I missed you both." I muttered, Damian looked at me, quickly catching the fact that I was talking to Suicide and Bullet.

We made our way to school, my legs lazily dragging me as they begged for rest, but that wouldn't come anytime soon.

I just want a break...