𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒

~Unwanted Pt.1~

Felicity, Damian and I were sitting at our table at lunch, talking about whatever came up. We were smiling and laughing, hanging out like friends do.

Friends.

That's a word I haven't used in ages...

We were just peacefully chatting away when seven lunch trays smashed against our table, Zeke and his gang plus Stacey and Amy, sat around us. Felicity sat closer to me as Ashton sat down beside her, while Zeke sat beside me.

I shook my head, my smile fading as I already knew what was going to happen. "What do you want Zeke?"

"Just came to see my favourite buddy!" He said with too much enthusiasm, but I guess that was his intention as now the entire cafeteria was looking at us. "Well go look somewhere else, he's not here."

"You're right, I'm sure Cooper would love to go home wouldn't he?" Kyle asked with a smirk, he used to be so nice... I guess he lost his brain cells when he hung out with Zeke. "Honestly, I don't get why you guys feel the need to pick on me, you two used to be nice, Ashton was decent and Zeke... well you were always an asshole." I said, not even thinking as I spoke.

Something was slammed over my head, my food. The mashed potato mixed in with my hair, making it feel all disgusting. "Blue never looked nice on you Cooper." Kyle said as he glared at me. I went to say something but I stopped as I saw everyone in the cafeteria was laughing.

I was so used to this. I was so used to being humiliated in front of so many people, I was so used to having my guts punched and my feelings hurt...

Yet I always cracked under their harsh attacks. I always broke into tears, whether they were looking or not.

"No one wants you here Cooper, I would have thought you'd do us all a favour by now, I thought you would have just ended your pathetic life but here we are. I guess I'll just have to keep telling you how fucking pathetic and unwanted you are!" Zeke shouted at me, instead of tears and sadness... I felt rage.

I slammed my fists against the table, causing everyone to stop laughing and to stare at me. "And I thought you'd fucking understand that your just some low life asshole who likes to pick on kids for his own entertainment!!" I shouted at Zeke, I turned to Kyle and Dylan. "And I thought you two would have had my back!! But the second Jax was gone you two left me in the fucking ditch!! You're just as bad as that faggot and I'm honestly glad I'm not your fucking friend anymore because you're both fucking assholes!!"

I stood up and grabbed my bag and left. I didn't wait for anyone, I was so mad! But that anger was quickly leaving, Embarrassment and Insecurity taking its place. My arms wrapped around me, pulling my clothing as close as I could. My face flushed as I thought about everyone staring at me, judging me.

I went straight home, not looking back as I left the school behind. I went straight inside and up to my room, locking the door behind me as I turned my music on, cranking it up as I drowned myself in my tears.

I don't know how long I was sitting there for until I heard the front door slam shut. I turned my music off as I walked out of my bedroom, going to see who was here.

As I got to the bottom of the stairs, I was met with an angry Blake and Xavier while a worried James and unfazed Carlos stood behind them. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Xavier and Blake shouted at me, I looked at them confused. "What do you mean?"

"Why the fuck did you shout at Zeke for no reason?! And in front of the whole cafeteria?!" Xavier shouted, my eyes narrowed as I stared at them. "You really think I, Cooper the awkward, anti social kid would shout at someone for no reason?!"

"You didn't answer my question!! Why the fuck did you shout at him?!"

"BECAUSE HE WAS BEING A FUCKING ASSHOLE OKAY!!" Next thing I know, my back was slammed against the wall, fear rose in me as I looked into Xavier's deadly eyes. "You better watch your fucking mouth before I give you a reason not to talk." He stated lowly. "Lay off of him Xavier."

"Shut the fuck up James!!" Xavier shouted before turning back to me, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Why do you hate Zeke so much? What the fuck has he ever done to you?"

"He's an asshole is what! He irritates the shit out of me and he's just a dick of a guy!" I said, Xavier just shook his head. "Maybe you're just an irritating little shit that nobody wants here! Maybe you're just a fucking burden that everyone is tired of!! Maybe you're just so fucked up your own mother doesn't even want you!!"

Wow... that last one really hit home. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at Xavier, he just shook his head at me. "You shouldn't just judge Zeke, don't you know not to judge a book by its cover?" He asked sarcastically. A sob escaped my lips, causing everyone to snap their heads at me. Xavier's grip on me vanished, my feet touched the floor and I looked up at Xavier.

Tears fell down my face as my lips quivered, his words rang though my head. Maybe you're just an irritating little shit that nobody wants here! Maybe you're just a fucking burden that everyone is tired of!! Maybe you're just so fucked up your own mother doesn't even want you!!

"I'm such a little shit? A burden and I'm so fucked up?... I'll do you all a favor and fucking leave." I said quietly. "And maybe I judge the cover because I've already seen the pages inside... a lot can happen behind closed doors... you just have to open them." I said, my voice cracking at the end as more tears fell down my face, yet I showed no emotion... only emptiness.

I ran past them, rushing out of the front door and into the rain. I didn't look back as I ran from the house, tears falling down my face as all of the words rang through my head.

No one wants you here Cooper!

I would have thought you'd do us all a favor by now, I thought you would have just ended your pathetic life but here we are!

I guess I'll just have to keep telling you how fucking pathetic and unwanted you are!

Maybe you're just an irritating little shit that nobody wants here!

Maybe you're just a fucking burden that everyone is tired of you!!

Maybe you're just so fucked up your mother doesn't even want you!!

I guess if they don't want me, I'll give them what they wish... I'll disappear and stay out of their lives if that's what they want so badly.

If they want that so bad... they can't have it.

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X A V I E R

What have I done?