𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒

~𝑇𝑜 𝑋𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑟~

To Xavier

I want to apologise to you... as much as you were such an asshole to me... you deserve to hear this. I'm sorry I came into your family, I'm sorry it had to be my mom and I, I'm sorry that you felt this way about me. All I honestly wanted was to see my mom happy, and with your dad... with Harrison... she was. At first I wasn't fond of having new brothers either... but as time went on, I realised just how much I missed being apart of a real family... I missed that brotherly love I once had.

I just wish I hadn't of pissed you off so much that you added to my misery by hurting me as much as Zeke did... all I wanted was to make you like me, I tried my best to be nice but I guess that just wasn't good enough... I just wish you could have accepted me like Autumn did... she didn't care about what I wore or how I acted, she just wanted someone to hang out with... just like how I wanted someone to hang out with.

I don't know what made you hate me so much, I really don't... I don't know if it was the fact that mom and I just came barging into your life, o-or that we tried to be a family... I don't know what pissed you off so much, I just wish I could change how you felt about me.

All I can really say is why? Why did you have to make my life worse than it already was? I've hit three low points in my life... but this one was worse than the rest... because you really did make me feel unwanted.

You and Zeke made me hate myself so much more than I ever had, I hated the way I was, the way I dressed, how I acted, what music I listened to. I hated the way I spoke, how I drew, how I walked. I hated myself so, so much... and you and Zeke only made that worse.

I went from hating myself to despising myself. I started to question who I was... what I was doing with my life and I realised... I wasn't. I wasn't doing anything with my life, I was just sitting around like a useless piece of trash... so I hope this makes you happy Xavier... you won't have to deal with me anymore.

~Cooper