Reflection | YOONMIN

Chapter 68

I know, it's been so long. As per my most recent update, school has been really stressful and difficult for me so I've had to take a break from writing. But I was really motivated and inspired to edit and post today. Thank you to all my readers for sticking by me even though it's been months since my last update. I love y'all so much, you are the best. 

WARNING: This chapter contains sensitive content including eating disorders/body issues, mental illness, trauma, panic attacks, and minor sexual content.

Please take care of yourselves. This is a safe space for everyone.

(Ps- credit for the adorable gif: u-ne on deviantart)

ENJOY!

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"Can I make you anything to eat, baby?" Yoongi asked as he moved Jimin's hair away from his forehead. They were sitting on the couch, watching tv. Yoongi had just gotten off of work. It's been a few months since Jimin moved in with Yoongi and he's been working a little extra recently to help support Jimin a little more. Jimin doesn't have a job and he withdrew from school. He'd been looking at colleges here and there for a program of his choice- social work or psychology- but he doesn't have the means to actively look and take it seriously yet. And Yoongi wasn't going to force him to work. Not in his condition. He didn't know what the right thing is. Maybe he should ask him. Maybe he shouldn't. He really doesn't know. It was a hard and confusing time for the both of them. He just wanted to take care of him the best he could. But it was challenging to say the least. There were good days and bad days. Unfortunately, the bad days occurred more frequently.

"I'm not really hungry now. Maybe later." Jimin looked down. He knew that would upset Yoongi. He hasn't been eating that much recently. He can't even hide it. They sleep together, shower together. He can't hide it. Not that he would purposely want to hide that from Yoongi. Yoongi would want to know how he's doing. But when they didn't live together it was easier. Plus, now he eats meals with Yoongi so when he doesn't eat, Yoongi knows. He had no appetite. It's not like he wanted to revert back to his old ways, but he can't help it. He's stressed and still overwhelmed by the entirety of the situation. He's losing control of everything. That's the one thing he still has control over. He doesn't even have control over if Yoongi wants to stay with him. He always promised he wouldn't leave, but Jimin wouldn't blame him. He's a burden. He's just another body living in his house. Another person he has to support. It's only a matter of time before he realizes what's good for him and wants to break up. Jimin would be devastated, but would understand. But he didn't think he could be in the same position as Yoongi. He could never support anyone else. But that's the difference between him and Yoongi.

"Okay, love. Let me know." Yoongi got up to make himself something to eat. He wishes Jimin would let him make him something. He can't force him, that he knows for sure. But he's been eating less. He can tell. He can see his rib cage that sticks out more than the first time he saw him without a shirt. He can feel his bones when he hugs or cuddles with him. It's almost as if his skin is paper thin and his bones are going to rip right through. He's concerned. He loves him more than anything and wants him to live a long life. He gets frustrated when Jimin doesn't want to eat. He knows it's not his fault. He doesn't choose to do this. Yoongi always tries to remember that. But he wishes there was something he could do.

He makes himself some noodles and joins Jimin on the couch again.

Today was one of the bad days. Jimin wasn't eating or talking that much. Yoongi couldn't really do anything. So they sat on the couch quietly while Yoongi ate.

"Do you want to take a shower with me?" Yoongi asked after he put his bowl in the sink.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." Jimin nodded and started getting up.