starstruck - lrh

fourteen.

 I'm woken up by the sound of my phone buzzing beside me which makes me immediately groan considering I feel like I didn't get any sleep last night.

Considering the fact that I went to bed at three a.m., it certainly didn't help that Jake was up puking all night. Every piece of me longed to help him and be there for him considering there's nothing worse than being forced to face your decisions of the night but I refrained from doing so because he needs to face his actions on his own.

There's absolutely no need to get that obliterated four days of the week, especially when he's staying at my house and I have to be the one that loses sleep because of it.

It's unhealthy.

Grabbing onto my phone, I eye the screen and am surprised to see my mom calling. This is shocking to me because I truly don't recall the last time I spoke with her, yet, here she is calling me.

"Jesus christ," Jake grumbles beside me. "Can you turn that ringer off?"

He flips his whole body away from me and tugs the blankets, ultimately leading to all the blankets being stripped from me as he seemingly falls right back asleep.

Knowing there's no use in denying the call and attempting to fall back asleep, I take my phone out of the charger and step out of bed in order to have the conversation in another room.

I accept the call and press my phone to my ear before stepping out of my room quietly and shutting the door behind me.

"Hey mom."

"Haven, my sweetheart," she says, her voice kind. "How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you?" my voice soft as I make my way towards the kitchen in order to make coffee.

I feel guilty that I talk to my mom as little as I do. However, our relationship has grown apart for reasons out of our control over time. We've tried to put it back together with duct tape but there's just no getting back to the way things were.

"Good," she says. "I heard you had a successful night at the award's show last week, I wish I had turned it on."

"That's alright, there will be more."

My mom doesn't say anything and neither do I as I grab a mug and start up the Keurig in order to get my morning cup. I try to remain as quiet as I can in order to refrain from waking up Jake .

"How are things going? How's your boyfriend?"

Well, I brought him around my friend's last night and he was rude to all of their friends and half humiliated me in the bar. Then, when I finally was having a good night, I had to go home because he was locked out and he proceeded to piss me off further causing me to go to bed without another word.

"He's good," I settle with. "He's sleeping right now, I'm just making coffee."

"That's good," my mom says.

You can hear how uncomfortable and awkward this conversation is for the two of us to have as neither of us know what to say. I'm sure she expected me to talk about Jake further but I really don't want to discuss him at the moment.

I should ask her about her life and press on subjects in order to engage in conversation but the truth is, I don't feel like playing catch up right now. I had a long night last night and I need to wake up before I can fake nice to anyone.

"How's Aspen? Is she seeing anyone?"

I sigh, knowing she's going to keep this conversation going as long as she can. I feel bad because she doesn't know I had a bad night and isn't aware that I'm absolutely miserable right now.