starstruck - lrh

sixty-one.

 "I don't know what to do."

Luke sighs on the other line of the phone as I can hear him fiddling with the guitar in his hands and seems to put it aside for the moment.

"Just walk inside."

"I don't want to see her," I say honestly.

After everything that happened yesterday, I told my mom that I'd rather her get a hotel for her short trip she planned. After all, she is only here for today and tomorrow and then heads back.

I explained that I certainly didn't want her staying with me after everything that had happened but I was happy to pay for a place for her to stay. She declined my offer and got herself a hotel room not too far from my place and I haven't seen her since.

In fact, we haven't even talked about it. Only minutes after everything had happened, I pretty much asked her to leave because I was confused on how to feel. Obviously, she had chosen me at the end of the day but I know that that was her original plan.

She clearly planned on leaving with Chris and only had done otherwise because she heard the way he talked about me. She got to see the side I had seen of him for so many years.

The side that she never believed to be true when I tried to tell her.

However, she obviously wanted to talk with me before heading back so I called up Ian and asked if he'd be interested in meeting up as well. I know she wants to talk to him as well and luckily, he agreed to do so. He didn't seem entirely reluctant as he seemed to mostly agree for my sake.

I think a part of him knew that I didn't want to take this on alone and I didn't feel it'd be appropriate to bring Luke with me. After all, this is family stuff and I'm sure my mom would like to keep it that way.

So as I sit outside this cafe, with my mom in sight as she sits at the table, her eyes glued to her phone as if waiting on me to bail, I truly contemplate driving back to mine and calling it quits.

"You've got to rip the bandaid off, Haves."

I practically groan as I'd rather keep the bandaid on. I'd rather her just go back to Miami and me move on with my life without having to address this.

Do I even owe her this conversation?

"I really don't want to do this," I say, my tone exhausted.

"Haven, this is your chance to finally find healing," Luke says, his tone sympathetic. "You know you desperately want that healing walking away from that is going to bug you forever."

I know he's right. I know I need to do this for me in order to move past this era of my life and finally free myself of the weight Chris threw on me. To have the confirmation that he'll never be around ever again will mean a lot to me.

It'll allow me to finally move on.

I open my mouth and am about to respond when I catch sight of Ian hoping out of his car. This immediately grabs my attention as I'd much rather walk in with him than walk in alone.

"Ian just got here," I say to Luke. "I'll call you after, okay?"

"Okay, just give me a ring if you need me," Luke says to me.

"I will," I say, unbuckling my seatbelt. "I love you."

Just as I unhook my phone from bluetooth, I hear Luke say the same before I disconnect the call. I hate to cut him off but the idea of walking in with Ian is a lot more comforting than walking in alone. If anyone's going to get me through this, it's him.