starstruck - lrh

sixty-nine.

Haven's POV:

"Okay, but is the food here yet? We can't have a party without food and-"

"Haves, don't worry. It will get here," Luke quickly assures.

I don't resist my urge to groan as I throw my head back and Luke quickly wraps his arms around me to pull me in for a hug. I don't hug him back as I'm too overwhelmed right now with the million worries rushing through my head.

Maybe committing to hosting Luke's graduation party wasn't the best idea. However, I knew it would make him happy and that he'd prefer for me to have it at mine instead of having it at his.

On top of that, I didn't exactly plan for my life to seeming fall apart around the same time as the party. After my phone call with John, I've had extreme levels of anxiety and went to Gabriella balling my eyes out and begging for her to find me a job.

Needless to say, she wasn't entirely on my side as she said she'd do what she can but can't promise anything. Especially due to the press I'm getting right now.

It seems as if every day there's some new article painting lies about me and trying to make me out to be this awful person. In fact, the latest rumor circling is that I was the one who made Jake Thompson into the person he is.

To any logical person, that wouldn't make sense in the slightest. However, for most people it seems to add up considering all the other lies going around about me.

I hardly look at my phone because I mentally can't handle it all as it's become far too much. Not only am I on the verge of losing my career but now I'm close to losing everything and a part of me is fearful that Luke's next.

I blame that on myself as I certainly should've made my presence known instead of standing outside the door and listening to Calum practically beg him to break up with me. The second I heard my name, I became too intrigued and I couldn't walk away.

I just wish more than anything that I did.

The conversation has been haunting me and I can't stop thinking about it. Especially because I walked in towards the end of the conversation, rather than the beginning, and I fear I missed crucial details that could put me at ease.

I stopped immediately from walking right in the second I grabbed the handle and heard Calum ask if he thought a decision of his was the best thing to do for Luke, their career, or for me.

I have more trust and faith in Luke than to assume that he would break up with me just for the sake of his career but I hate knowing that he feels like he may have to choose between the two.

I feel guilty that my reputation could be playing a negative effect on the guys' career because I know how happy music makes Luke and them. I know how happy they are that things are finally working and I could never allow myself to be the person that ruins that for good.

Due to this, I've kept quiet about my stress regarding my career and everything circling my life. Hell, I didn't even tell Luke about John's plan to ruin my career. He has his own career and life to worry about. The last thing I'd want to do is put any added stress on him that could deflect him from progressing his career.

I just feel like I'm walking on a thin thread and that it could snap at any second.

"Everything looks great," Luke says, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I'm so thankful that you went out of your way to do this for me."

He kisses the top of my head and I can't even hold back my desire to hug him back as I finally do so, pressing my head to his chest. Because of this, he tugs me in closer right away and sways me back and forth.