starstruck - lrh

twenty-nine.

Luke's POV:

Staring at the sheet of paper, I feel as if I'm practically going cross eyed at this point. I've been trying to put my feelings into words as I've been absolutely overwhelmed with every feeling imaginable but I can't process them clearly.

It's as if every single feeling in my body has been ignited in the past 24 hours and I want nothing more than to release them by writing them on this sheet of paper. However, it's becoming impossible as I can't even make sense of them or address them how I'd like to.

It's the absolute worst feeling in the world.

I hate feeling so much but not knowing exactly what I'm feeling. I'm dying to write something and make good use of these intense emotions but my mind can't keep up with them.

Everytime I write something down, I cross it out immediately as I convince myself that it sounds bad or my feelings are invalid. It's an exhausting process that I put myself through by never being able to settle.

Especially when I've reached the point of exhaustion like I have now where I can hardly read anymore. Nothing makes sense and it's frustrating me further as I keep getting angrier by the minute and muttering curse words under my breath.

Why can't I just settle for less and put some bullshit lyrics together and call it a day?

I'm startled from my writing when I hear the sound of my door being thrown open which immediately grabs my attention as I look in the direction absolutely horrified.

I'm not shocked as I'm met with the sight of a shirtless Calum, only in a pair of boxers as his eyes immediately trail off to my bed and his whole expression falls.

"Okay, what the hell?"

"Jesus fuck, Calum," I say, dragging a hand through my hair as his entrance was incredibly abrupt and uncalled for. "What time is it?"

"How come your bed is empty?"

"What the fuck do you mean?" I ask, checking my watch to see it's not even nine a.m., yet here Calum is finding a way to cause an inconvenience.

"She's not here?" I hear a female voice ask from behind Calum, who I assume to be Aspen.

"We sacrificed a ride home so you two could come here and have some sexy time and you really didn't even bring her back?" Calum asks in clear disbelief.

I shut my eyes tightly, already feeling annoyed by this all as I'm not dying to provide them any explanation. After all, I don't know why they're so confused by my decision.

"No, I took her home after the party," I say simply.

After we left, I drove right to hers and dropped her off. Nothing more, nothing less. I can't tell them what they want to hear at all because last night ended early and I've been sitting at this desk writing ever since.

"Are you dumb?" Calum asks, him and Aspen walking into my room further.

"No, which is why I took her home."

Calum looks to Aspen, a look of exhaustion on his face as if he's silently apologizing for my actions. I don't dwell on this and instead stand by my own decisions that they probably won't ever understand.

"You see, that's what a dumb person would do," Calum says, finding a spot on my bed and laying down on it. "A smart person would've taken advantage of the fact that you two were both sober and could've had a fun night together whether that involved sexy time or not."