starstruck - lrh

seventy-seven.

"Okay ma'am, you've got some serious explaining to do."

The thought is terrifying as I have no idea where to begin. Obviously I do deserve to give Aspen some answers due to the fact that I literally have blatantly ignored her for the past few weeks.

"I just-"

"I mean, I get it, Haven. You know that I understand you're going through hell and back right now," she says, stepping fully into my house as this is the first time I've let her in. After all, she texted me once she found out I agreed to go to the show tonight and told me there's no way she'd let me get away with avoiding her until then. As a result, she told me she was coming over whether I liked it or not. "But is cutting people out really the best thing for you?"

"I didn't mean to cut you out," I sigh, feeling guilty for pushing her away from me. "I just don't want to be around anyone."

"You need to get out and see people," she says, her tone obvious. "Locking yourself in your house just forces you to hear your own thoughts and think about things you don't want to think about."

"But I-"

"This can't continue," she says, her tone strong. "Everyone's worried out of their mind about you."

I know that she's referring mainly to Luke and my dad considering I doubt anyone else has even given me a second thought since Luke and I broke up.

"I just need some time," I say plainly. "I don't want to go out because I know I'm just going to be hounded by paparazzi and made a fool of further."

Aspen's face softens and I'm sure she feels guilty considering this is a part of my life she'll never understand. In fact, it's one of the biggest reasons I haven't left my house. I'm terrified of what they'll say to me or what they'll ask me or what they'll do with my words and actions.

At the same time though, they've already torn me apart. What do I have left to lose?

"I'm your best friend for a reason, Haven," Aspen says. "Anyone who looks at you the wrong way is going to face my wrath."

I crack a smile as I don't doubt it. I'm sure she'd take the reins and get me out of any messy scenario I may encounter. Due to this, I can't help but feel the smallest amount of weight lifted off my shoulders.

"You got that?" she asks, raising her eyebrows at me. "I don't want any more of this hermit Haven. I want you to go out and live your life and do things that make you happy or make you smile because I hate seeing you like this."

She gestures her hands towards me and I'm sure it's due to the tired look on my face and lack of fancy attire for the night. I had settled on a pair of leggings with an oversized band top. In fact, I even grabbed a baseball cap to rest on my head in order to hide me anyway that I can.

"So let's lose the hat and replace it with a crown because you ma'am are a mother fucking queen."

Regardless of her comforting words, I shake my head, knowing I want to hold onto the hat at the very least. I don't want it to be known that I'm out and about at this show because that's just going to draw in paparazzi to harass me after.

"I really want to keep this on," I say to her. "If one person gets an obvious picture of me at the show and posts it online, there's going to be an absurd amount of paparazzi waiting for me after considering I haven't spoken out since it got released that I was dropped."

Luckily Aspen doesn't fight me on this as she just sighs and nods her head. As I said, this is one aspect of my life she unfortunately won't understand and she probably feels a need to accept that.