Thomas Sangster imagines

Newt imagine - Chapter two

Chapter two

As i broke down crying you picked up Newts diary and re-read the page. As my mind twisted on the jumble of words I couldn't help my cry even more. The thing I kept reading over and over again was:
I jumped off the wall because I couldn't take it! I couldn't take knowing the fact that Natalie doesn't love me or even care about me the way I do, and the fact that she tried to die. I couldn't live without her. No one cares about me. She doesn't care about me. So now I don't care about me. I can't take this pain anymore. I tried to kill myself but instead I got this stupid limp. I was depressed for a while until Natalie came. I actually felt good for once. Until I saw her with Thomas and Minho and the other bloody gladers, and how she tried to kill herself and how I thought she was dead. I knew I didn't have a chance to be with her either. I shucking love her! And she doesn't see that. And I'm sick of feeling this way.

That's why he did tried to kill himself, he did it because of me. Oh my gosh. As tears ran down my cheeks I dropped his diary and curled up into a small ball crying on the floor. Natalie remember that everything is ok now. You love him and tonight you are going to tell him that no matter what. I slowly got up and walked over to your bedroom. I sat on the bed and I noticed something weird budging out of the wall. I got up and walked over to the wall and lightly slid my fingers on it. It was a door. I found a crack and stuck my fingers in the crack and pulled it open. I found there a white body sized mirror. As I gazed at my reflection in the mirror I studied my body and what I looked like. I shook myself out of the daze and shut the door then I grabbed a towel and walked out of my small house. I walked across the glade with my eyes puffy and red, boys giving me smiles and waves. I walked into the bathroom and made sure no one was in there by saying hello. But no, no one was in there so I made my move and placed the towel onto the towel rack and began to strip. I looked down at my wrists only to see scratches and cuts from my past.

Flash back

As I ran threw the deadheads not looking back behind me I ran to the secret hideout I found and made for myself so I could just sit and draw. Tears swarming my eyes and my heart thumping crazily. I hated it here, I couldn't stand it any longer. As I sat down in my hideout I found a knife blade and began to toucher myself. I put slits all up my arms and cut my arm viciously. I pocked the blade tip at my thigh and i began to press hard onto it. The blade went deep into my leg. I didn't care I just wanted to die. No one cares about me. No one. Then I blacked out because of how much I lost then only to find myself in the homestead. With all of the boys surrounding me and holding flowers and get well cards that they made for me, they do care. They do care about me. "What happened?" I asked with confusion and a blank face. "You lost so much blood that you passed out and have been unconscious for 6 days. Luckily you didn't loose that much shucking blood or ya be dead" Minho said as he gave me a hug and a kiss in the cheek. I scanned the room and looked for Newt, but he wasn't there. "Why'd you do it Nat?" Chuck asked as tears rolled down his eyes. "Come here chuck" I said as I gestured him to come and lay down with me. He slowly walked over and laid down next to me. He stated bawling his eyes out. "Hey hey, it's ok. I'm fine." I gently rubbed his back and gave him a kiss on his forehead. He was like me brother and I was like his sister. "It's ok chuck I will never do it again" he looked up at me and said "you promise?" "I promise". As chuck and i fell asleep I woke up to moaning from a sad boy in the other room. I got up from where I was sleeping being careful to not wake up chuck. I walked in to the room to see Newt laying there on a bed. His leg was bandaged. I ran by his side and watched him sleep I kissed his forehead and played with his hair. I got told everything the next day from Alby about how he did it but not why, he told me not to mention it to Newt. So I pretended like it never happened.

End of flashback

He did it because I tried to kill myself. As I woke up to reality I jumped into the the shower and scrubbed myself clean. When I was done I quickly jumped out of the shower and dried myself. Then I wrapped the towel back around me and ran threw the glade back to my little cabin. I got a few stares and whistles but I managed to keep the towel in contact with my skin. I ran up the stairs and walked into my room. I slipped on my undergarments and then put on my blue dress. I glanced at myself in the mirror once more before stepping out of my cabin.

I held Newts notebook in my hand and strolled through the glade till I wondered to the dead heads. I got a lot of whistles and smirks and a few comments like:
"She's so hot"
"Where is she going?"
"Nat is the prettiest girl I have ever seen"
"Shut it slint head, she's the only girl you've ever seen"
I walked through the dead heads until I came across a tall handsome Newt leaning on a tree. "Oh hello love" he said as he walked towards me. He planted a sweet kiss on my cheek making me blush. "Come with me" he said as he pulled me by the hand. "Where are we going?" I asked. "Somewhere just for you and me" he smiled and he joined my hand with his. We walked for a while hand in hand. Until he stopped and pointed up. "Let's go" he pulled a loose rope and a set of ladders came tumbling down from a large tree. He started to climb up the tree and I followed. As we got to the top he sat down on a blanket and couple of pillows. I did the same and looked around. "This is beautiful" I looked up at him and saw his eyes twinkling. (Lol that was cheesy soz continue) I sat down next to newt and he instantly turned and faced me. "I've got something I need to tell you" he said as he played with his fingers. "Yeah...." You said cautiously. "Well ever since you came up in that box, I though you were the most prettiest and delicate person I have ever seen. I love everything about you. I love how your so focused into reading or thought that you blur everyone else out of how you love to draw and doodle when ever or anything. I love the way you crinkle your nose when your mad or how your eyes light up when ever you talk. I love you Natalie I bloody love you! And if you don't love me back that I fully underst-" I cut him off with my lips connecting with his. He kissed back and it was the most passionate kiss. As I slowly pulled apart I whispered "I love you more than anything in this shucking world. I would die for you" and with that we kissed again. His hands found a place around my waist and my arms snaked around his neck. He pulled me close into him sending tingles down my spine. As we pulled away I leaned onto him and snuggled my face into his chest. "Do you know why I did it?" He questioned me. "Yes, but you should have talked to me about it." I said and looked him into the eyes and kissed him lightly on the nose. "I know. Well why did you do it?" He asked me. I looked at him and tears filled my eyes. "I did it because no one cared about me" he whipped away my tears before replying. "I cared and I will always care" he kissed my forehead and I snuggled back into his chest. "Natalie?" His beautiful voice hummed through my head. "Yeah Newt" I looked up at him. "Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked with a cheesy grin. "I thought I already was, but yes newt I would love to" I teased and rested my head back onto his chest. He smiled and rested his head down.