Shrinking Violet

26

We are sitting next to each other, watching the sun going down, feeling that we're connected. When suddenly, he asked.

"How did you forget the pain that I caused?"

I'm playing the sands when I answered him, "I don't forget the pain, I accepted it."

"Why?" he curiously asked.

"Because..." I stopped. I love you, my heart said. "I can only be free from the heartache if I'll forgive you.", I answered.

"Do you love me?"

I shrugged and said, "Maybe." I looked at him. "If I say no, are you going to leave me?" I expected him to nod or to be silent but he didn't.

"No. I'm here because I want you to be mine. I'm courting you not because you love me but because I love you."

"How are you sure that I love you?" I stare at him lousily.

"Ahh.. You let me carry you, hug you, sleep with you, kiss you and be with me alone." He answered confidently.

"So?" I stood up. "It's because I'm comfortable with you, idiot." I run to the room he rented. We ran together and lazily fall to our bed.

Yep, our. This feels like we were high school best friends. Not giving malice to what we're doing.

I yawned. "Sleepy?" he asked.

"JC" I called him. "Minahal mo ba talaga ako noong boyfriend kita?"

"Noong best friend pa kita, sabi ko kapag nag girlfriend ako kaugali mo. Noong girlfriend na kita, nakita ko yung ugali mo kay Kristine na hindi ko nakita dati." I stare at him, waiting him to continue what he's saying. "I loved you and I was so happy when you answered me 'yes' but... my feelings faded. I know my wrong. I know what I lacked of. I'm sorry." He is breathing hard to calm himself. "I'm sorry for seeing your worth when you are gone. That I only realized that I love you when you are so far away from me."

"Hey, I'm sorry to ask that. I don't want you to cry." I said while caressing his arms. "Please stop crying, I feel bad now." I let his head fell to my shoulder. I let him hug me. "It's okay. We'll fix everything, we'll make everything right."

"I'm okay now." He said. "Thank you for being with since day one."

We fell to the bed while his arms are still around me. I missed him so much. Being with his arms again feels so right.

I hope this is the right time to love each other again. I hope no one enters to our relationship again. I hope we can make this 'til the end now.

He started kissing me again from my head. He touched his forehead to mine and whispered, "I love you". He kissed my lips gently. I, again, felt like this is right. I can't feel any hindrance to come.

It's my instinct and it will never be wrong.

I woke up without him beside me. I saw a bikini and a dress to the corner of the bed. "Where did he get this?" I'm so sure it's from JC he is the one that I'm with.

Kinuha ko ito at lumabas ng kwarto. Nakita ko siya sa ihawang part ng beach malapit sa cr na pagliliguan ko kaya tinawag ko siya.

"Sige ligo ka muna! Tapusin ko lang ihawin 'to tas kain tayo doon sa kwarto." Tumango ako at pumasok na sa cr.

Dumiretso na ako sa kwarto, dahil wala na si JC sa ihawan, pagkatapos ko maligo.

"Ano? Sige pauwi na ako. Mag- iingat kayo. Oo. Sabihin mo kay mama, magpakatatag siya. Papunta na ako." Iyan ang mga katagang nakinig ko bago niya ako makita at patayin ang tawag.