Neverland's Captive - Ouat Peter Pan

Chapter 56 - Back To Square One

(Past)

It's been years of me and Peter trying to search for the heart of the truest believer but no hope. It meant having at least twice as many boys as we did before to see if any of them were him.

My dream of having girls come to the island quickly faded as Peter was solely focused on finding the boy in the picture and claimed he didn't have time to bring them to.

In reality, part of the reason he didn't want to is because he didn't really like girls. I know I'm a girl but I was 'different to the rest of them', whatever the hell that means.

Peter would say that girls were 'annoying' and 'girls talk too much' and 'they're so whiny' and many other things that were definitely not true.

Truth is, he had a sexist attitude and I don't know when it started to develop because he definitely didn't use to be like that. But it was irritating.

He'd talk about them like they're objects and people to be messed with but not me. Strange. Maybe because I was seen to be strong and brave by 'boy standards' and he thought girls were weak and timid.

I noticed that a lot of the lost boys took this approach towards girls as well. I hated it. I tried to remind them that this isn't true but being isolated on this island and away from soviet doesn't help.

Obviously I challenged this ridiculous notion. Being around a bunch of sexist boys wasn't a luxury by far. Still, I stood by his side. He was my oldest friend and I loved him.

But this was exhausting. He was becoming more and more agitated by the day trying to find this heart. More aggressive, ruthless and violent in his search and so had the boys. Perhaps that's why they had developed this obnoxious attitude towards girls.

I got why he was acting like this but it still wasn't right. He was worried we wouldn't be able to find him but I knew we would eventually, it was just hard for now.

I'd hope things would go back to normal after we get the heart, whatever normal is nowadays. I was still enjoying myself though, Neverland was still fun and I got on with almost all the boys, well expect from one...

Felix. The second in command. We didn't really get along, even though he was Peter's closest friend and alley. We didn't talk much at all, he doesn't seem to like me but I never asked why.

He was always blunt, seemingly grumpy, barely ever talked and would sometimes give me death stares. I didn't understand him, Peter did though. That's what confused me.

"What are you doing?", someone asks, grabbing my attention.

"Just thinking", I respond, realising that I've been out of it for a while.

"You were completely silent for ages", Peter says.

"Day dreaming", I respond simply.

I was still thinking about the thing with Felix. It bugged me so much and I couldn't understand why. Perhaps it was time to actually do something about it, try to talk to him properly, I don't know.

I look over to him slowly, only to see he is staring right back at me coldly whilst the other boys are having a good time. He looks down and away from me quickly, carving something.

It doesn't take long for him to stand up suddenly and walk over to Peter and I. I'm a bit caught of guard, does he know what I was thinking? Of course not.

"I'm going to get more firewood", he says bluntly, whilst walking into the woods.

"I'll come", I say quickly.