Nagising naman ako na masakit ang buong katawan. Sinubukan kong gumalaw but I just felt sore down there. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang mapagtanto ang nangyari. Oh my god! Oh my god!
Dahan-dahan ko namang nilingon ang katabi ko at nakitang tulog na tulog pa rin si Rogue habang nakayakap sa akin. Holy shit! Blair, what have you done?! You freaking idiot!! Kahit masakit pa ang katawan ko, pinilit kong bumangon at kinuha ang mga damit ko.
Kita ko naman ang bahid ng dugo sa bed sheet na nagpapatunay na totoo nga ang nangyari. Fucking idiot! I'm so stupid! Sa lahat pa talaga ng pwedeng pagbigyan mo ng sarili mo, sa isang Montesilva pa talaga?!
Dali-dali kong sinuot ang mga damit ko at ika-ikang lumabas ng kwarto. I can't believe that happened...
"What were you thinking, Blair?!" Inis na sabi ko pa sa sarili.
You're not even in a relationship with him for Pete's sake! Tapos binigay mo lang ang sarili mo ng ganun kadali?! My parents will kill me pag nalaman nila 'to. When I finally got my things, I quickly walked towards the door.
"I didn't expect you to be a fuck-and-run type of girl, Xena." I halted when I heard his voice. Gusto ko na lang lamunin ng lupa ngayon mismo.
Huminga muna ako ng malalim before I decided to face him. Pinilit kong tumayo ng maayos kahit na halos maiyak na ako sa sobrang sakit ng baba ko.
I saw him leaning at his room's door with an amuse smile on his face. "Was I that really unsatisfying in bed for you leave just like that? You're hurting my ego, mi bella." At umakto pa talaga siyang nasasaktan habang nakahawak sa dibdib niya. Saya niya pa ha.
At anong sabi niya?! Him?! Unsatisfying?! Halos hindi na nga ako makatayo ng maayos eh. Shit! Nakakahiya! "I have to go home." I firmly told him. I can't stay here any longer.
Umalis naman siya sa pagkakasandal at umupo sa sofa na nasa sala. "Take a seat for a while."
"Hindi mo ba ako narinig? I said I have to go home." Giit ko pa sa kanya. Ano na naman bang gusto niyang mangyari?! Magtrip down to mameory lane kami at alalahin ang nangyari sa aming dalawa?!
"I'll take you home after we talk." He casually said.
"Talk? At ano naman ang pag-uusapan natin, aber?!" Hindi na nga ako makatagal na makasama siya sa iisang bubong, tapos ngayon gusto niya pa kaming mag-usap!
"Hindi tayo aalis ditto hangga't hindi tayo nakakapag-usap. Kaya kung gusto mong makauwi na agad, get your ass over here and take a seat." Padabog naman akong naglakad at umupo sa sofa katapat ng kanya.
"Ayan nakaupo na ako. What the hell do you want us to talk about, huh?" I arched my brow at him.
"I wanted to talk about us." Seryoso niya pang sabi.
"Us?" I scoffed at him. "Since when did we became 'us', Mr. Montesilva?" Natatawa ko pang sabi sa kanya. I don't know where this conversation is coming from.
"Since the moment you let me enter inside you. When you moaned for my name a couple of times a while ago. When you came a lot of times while I was thrusting my fingers inside you. Nakalimutan mo na ba?" My smile instantly faded with what he said.
"You shut up! Kailangan mo pa ba talagang ipa-alala yon?!" Fuck, this is beyond awkward. He's such an asshole! Kailangan niya ba talagang ipa-alala sa akin ang lahat ng yon. God, ang sarap niyang sapakin!
"Baka kasi limot mo na. Anyways, I just want to clarify some things--"
"No need for that, what happened between us was just some casual sex. We're two consenting adults so there's no need to treat it as a big deal. Let's just go on with our lives na parang walang nangyari." Diretso kong sabi sa kanya. I can't let myself be in a more awkward situation.
He leaned his back against the sofa and smile amusingly while looking at me. "Well, I must say na for once may isang bagay tayong napagkasunduan. You know what, it's good na sayo na mismo nanggaling ang mga salitang yan. At least you were different from those women na ako din ang naging una, masyado kasi silang clingy after we had sex na minsan nakakairita na. Maybe they're hoping that things between us will be serious after what happened. But sad to say, I don't do girlfriends."
I don't why, but I felt a pang on my chest when he said that. Pakiramdam ko wala akong pinagkaiba sa mga babaeng nakilala niya sa bar at naikama niya. Mas malala pa nga sa akin eh kasi hindi naman ako lasing. Matino ako nang may nangyari sa aming dalawa. What can I say, Montesilvas are a bunch of jerks!
"So I'll agree with what you said, let's just get over it. It was just sex after all." Preskong sabi niya.
Hindi ko alam pero nanliliit ako sa sarili ko. I feel so humiliated na hindi ko maintindihan kung anong dapat kong maramdaman. Agad naman akong tumayo at tumingin sa kanya.
"Now that we're done talking, pwede mo na ba akong ihatid?" Malamig na sabi ko sa kanya. I'm beyond speechless of how jerk he was! Hindi na ako makahinga sa lugar na 'to. I felt like this cabin was just too small for the both us. I just can't stand being alone with him in a same room.
Tumayo naman siya kaagad at kinuha ang susi ng kotse niya. Nauna na akong lumabas at tahimik lang na sumakay sa loob. Buong biyahe tahimik lang ako habang nakatingin sa labas. Nakikita ko naman sa gilid ng mata ko ang mga pasulyap-sulyap niya sa akin habang nagmamaneho pero hindi ko na siya kinibo.
I immediately went out of his car when we arrived at the street where he usually drops me off. I didn't say a word nor glance at him. Ayoko siyang makita. Kaya kahit nananakit pa rin ang baba ko pinilit kong maglakad pauwi sa amin.
It was a good thing that no one was around that's why I went straight to my room to take a shower. Tears started streaming down my face habang nasa ilalim ako ng shower. I felt so pathetic. Alam ko namang may kasalanan din ako pero hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ako naiiyak ng ganito. I just felt like I'm some kind a whore na napulot niya lang kung saan habang kausap ako kanina.
"It was just sex after all."
Mariin naman akong napapikit ng maalala ko ulit ang mga sinabi niya. Shit! Bakit ba ako nagkakaganito?!
Was it because it was my first time? Or maybe because I still feel sore? ...O baka naman kasi dahil itinuring niyang parang wala lang sa kanya ang nangyari sa amin. Baka dahil umasa lang talaga ako na somehow he'll treat me differently from those women he bedded before but sad to say hindi naman. Shit! I'm so stupid!
"Ate Claudia was right. We should never get ourselves involve with a Montesilva."
I should've listened to her.
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