Memory Of A Dear Place

14. Gemini

December, 1995

A few days passed since the little accident between me and Draco. He left the morning after and neither of us felt the need to say goodbye. This meant I finally had the full Slytherin house to myself and I've been hiding in it to avoid Oliver. This was partly because of my completely bruised body and partly because I just didn't have the balls to face him yet.

Oliver did try to reach out for me several times, but I just told him I was mad at him for getting so drunk at the Ravenclaw party, which honestly I was pretty pissed about. But this didn't give me the fucking right to lose myself to my hormones again.

I felt en still feel guilty. I needed some time to think. I has become very clear Draco was and is never going to want anything serious with me nor care about me. I am not going down that road again. I can't afford disrespect myself any more than I already did.

I still have so much to discover with Oliver, which is why I decided about me and Draco. Technically we aren't officially together and it would only mess up the progress I have made with him. He is sweet and he is caring. He appreciates me for who I am. He makes me feel wanted. And I like him too much to let him go, because of a stupid fucking mistake called Draco Malfoy.

I would lie if I said Draco hasn't been on my mind these days. That I haven't been thinking about what we did. The way he knew exactly what to say and the way he exactly knew how to touch me to make me fall for his tricks.

But I am going to avoid him, I am going to ignore him and I am going to forget about him. I was allowing him to ruin something special in my life, which is probably why he's doing this. And I won't allow him anymore. Oliver is and will be my main focus.

Today is the day I will be showing myself again. My bruises are finally starting to fade away, I'm out of my food stash and it's time to face the fucking mess I have created for myself.

I get out of my bed and look at my bare skin right away. The bruises on my wrists from Draco's belt are still pretty clear. I shake my head as soon as the images from that night replay themselves in front of me and quickly put on a black hoodie, black sweatpants and sneakers.

After I brush my teeth and fix my hair to something somewhat presentable, I make my way towards the Great Hall, being embraced by the smell of coffee, bacon and eggs. I find Oliver running up to me straight away, a worried look on his face.

As soon as he stops in front of me he reaches out to grab my shoulders, but then he lowers them again. "B-Bella...'' he huffs and stutters, trying to make eye contact with me. ''I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to escalate like that.''

As much as I want to give him a hug and tell him everything is alright, I still have to force myself to act a little bit hostile. ''It's okay Oliver.'' I say shortly and start walking towards the empty Slytherin table as Oliver starts to follow me.

''Can we talk?'' Oliver says as I feel his hand wrap around my elbow, making me turn my head towards him. ''Sure, Olly.'' I offer him a soft smile, looking at his warm and embracing eyes.

Fuck he is so innocent. He didn't do anything wrong, he just got himself carries away because he's a Gryffindor boy. Always wanting to prove themselves and always easy to influence as long as you tell them they're not capable of doing something.

The guilt I managed to push away finds its way in my bones again. I have never gotten my heart broken before, but I feel like the feeling of guilt can be just as painful as a heart ache. I have never had to feel guilty about something in my life and now I suddenly do.

As soon as we sit down Oliver opens his mouth to speak, but gets interrupted by I now recognize out of thousands. ''Hi Bella.'' Sam smirks standing at the other side of the table in front of us, ''You decided to show up again I see?'' Sam leans his hands on the table and smirks at me, which makes me send him a death stare.