227

2.8K 95 154
                                    

WARNING: Self-harm. If it might trigger you, skip it. I used to self-harm myself so I know how easy it is to be triggered, though it's not worth it. It leaves permanent marks on your body and it's unhealthy. If you ever feel like you want to self-harm, text or call someone first or call a self-harm hotline. Make a quick google search if you don't know the number, and call. Self-harm is not worth it!

-

I pushed the door open to the corridor where the alive portrait of my deceased uncle was hanging. I found it during my second year and immediately knew who it was. It looked completely like my father, just younger.

"Vivi, what a pleasure to see you again." he said, then laughed. "I'm sorry. That sounded way too formal. What's on your mind?"

"What's not on my mind." I scoffed, closing the door behind me. I walked down the empty hallway to where the portrait was hanging. "Do you think my dad would help me if I came to him about wanting out of a relationship?"

"Well of course he would. Your father loves you very much."

"How do you know?" I asked. "You're a portrait of your twenty-year-old self. You'd be thirty-eight if you were alive. You haven't seen him in all those years."

"But I know my brother." he told me. "And no matter what he's been through, he will always love his children more than anything in the world. Are you in a relationship you want out of? You're what– fifteen?"

"Yeah." I breathed. "You can't tell anyone, okay?"

"Who would I tell?" he asked. "I'm a portrait."

"Exactly. You can't tell anyone who walks by." I said. "I have this boyfriend but he's not very nice."

"Is he calling you names?"

"He's–"

The door to the corridor opened and Emery walked through, eyes landing on me. "You're supposed to be in class."

"I know." I breathed before I looked at my uncle's portrait. "I'll see you later."

"Wait, Vivi!" he called after me as I left. "You were saying something about your boyfriend!"

Emery followed me out of the corridor and when she grabbed my wrist, I flinched. I quickly moved away from her, staring at her carefully.

"Vivi?" she questioned. "Why do you– I wasn't going to hurt you. You know that. I'd never hurt you."

"I know."

"Then why do you look so terrified?"

I closed my eyes for a moment as I backed up against the wall. I was shaking. I couldn't calm my body down. I wanted to tell her everything. I needed to tell her everything. I felt numb. I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry. I was scared and I was numb. I hated this feeling.

"Genevieve." Emery said and I looked at her. She was tearing up at the sight of me. "What is he doing to you?"

I didn't say anything. I pushed myself away from the wall and hurried all the way down the stairs before I hurried through the castle to the stairs that led up to the common rooms. As I sprinted up the stairs, the tears just started spilling. I didn't care that Fred was sitting in the common room with his friends. I just printed up to my dormitory and slammed the door closed behind me, locking it.

Then the sobs started falling out of my mouth and it was like I lost control. Over my body and over my mind. I was starting to sweat and I couldn't stop the crying. My chest was hurting, I was dizzy and I had this feeling as if I wasn't actually there. It felt like a dream, like the reality I was living was unreal.

I rushed into the bathroom and let the door close behind me before I leaned against it, closing my eyes. I kept clenching and unclenching my fists while I did what Fred had told me the day I had a panic attack near the Great Hall.

"Deep breaths, Vivi. Deep breaths. You're going to be okay."

Breathe...

I got my breathing under control and when I felt a little bit better, I walked in front of the mirror. I was still shaking but at least I wasn't completely freaking out anymore.

My eyes were red and puffy, my lips swollen. My black eye was almost healed. Only a faint blue colour was spread around my eye and the redness in the white part was gone. The sides of my neck had marks from his nails digging into my skin earlier.

He wasn't going to leave me alone. He was never going to leave me alone.

I was lucky our dormitory had a bathroom. That was an update that McGonagall made a couple of years back. She thought it would be a good idea for the students to have a bathroom in their dormitory in case they had to use it at night. I was just lucky because if this had been one of the corridors bathrooms, I would have to walk up to my room with a face that revealed I had been crying like crazy.

I noticed the small package on the sink that Emery had forgot to put away this morning when she shaved her legs. The package of razor blades.

Don't do it Vivi.

Stop those thoughts.

Don't do it.

I opened the package and I took one of the razor blades as I let myself slide onto the toilet seat. I turned it over in my hand multiple times, looking at it as I felt the coolness of the metal. I bit my lip as I guided it to the part of my wrist that was exposed. My hand was shaking but I let the sharp side slide over my skin and oddly enough, it didn't hurt.

Small bubbles of blood appeared on my skin on top of the red cut. I let out a breath as I felt some kind of relief and comfort. Two feelings I hadn't felt in a long time. This was the first time in a while I actually had control over something. I no longer felt powerless and when I ran the blade over my wrist again and again and again, the feelings I had, only grew stronger.

It felt great and at that moment I didn't think of all the people I was hurting by hurting myself. The only thing I thought about was the relief and the feeling about having power over my own body that I so had missed.

-
As some of you know, I made a TikTok account where I introduced the original characters (Lizzie, Kathleen, Deanne and of course Fred and George) and now I've introduced our current characters as well.

So if you already know my username, you are more than welcome to go check it out. I've introduced Vivi, Sammy, Emery, Fred, Simon and Luke, though I am not finished and will be uploading more characters either today or tomorrow.

If you don't know, my username is @weasleyswickedwingxding

It would mean a lot of you went and checked it out and maybe even told me what you think.

Thank you and I love you!

- Julie

One and Only 3 ; George WeasleyWhere stories live. Discover now