I woke up in the middle of the night, shaking and sweating from a nightmare about the night in Luke's house.
Why couldn't it stop? Why couldn't the nightmares stop? The thought? I just needed it all to stop.
It had been a few days since mum and dad came to visit Sammy. I ended up begging dad to let us stay and he couldn't say no to me so he begged mum to let us stay and here we here, still at Hogwarts.
It was dark outside and when I looked at my alarm clock, it was nearly four in the morning. I let out a heavy breath as I closed my eyes.
The dream I just had flashed past my eyes. His face above mine as he punched me repeatedly. His face above mine when he raped me as I was nearly conscious. His face at the top of the stairs after he threw me down them.
I needed to throw up.
I threw the covers away from my body and jumped out of bed as silently as possible and rushed out into the bathroom. I closed and locked the door behind me and made sure to keep my hair back when I got down and threw up into the toilet.
I felt absolutely sick to my stomach.
I hated that I saw him when I was asleep. When I closed my eyes. I hated that I couldn't just use the obliviate charm. I wasn't skilled enough to do it myself, meaning I could accidentally delete all my memories and no skilled wizards who want to do it for me. They'd just say it isn't the way. That it's like taking drugs.
I wiped my mouth in toilet paper before I flushed and then got up to brush my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror and I absolutely hated what I saw.
My eyes looked wild and scared and they were red and puffy. My hair was a mess.
When I was done brushing my feet, I left the bathroom and continued out of the dormitory and into the common room.
I stopped when I saw a familiar person on one of the sofas. Simon sat there, shirtless but wearing his pajamas pants. He was hanging his head and it looked like something was bothering him.
"Why are you up?" I asked. My voice startled him and he quickly looked back at me before his face softened.
"Couldn't sleep." He told me. "You?"
"Had a nightmare." I said as I walked down the stairs and joined him on the sofa. "I see Luke's face every time I close my eyes and it's worse when I sleep. It's like experiencing it all over again."
I looked at the coffee table that had loads of schoolbooks on it along with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
"Seriously, Moe?" I asked. "I thought you stopped smoking?"
"I did. Then I... well, I only smoke one earlier." He rubbed his face. "I'm failing."
"Failing? What— school?"
"Yes." He nodded slowly. "If I fail just one of the NEWTS, I have to redo my seventh year."
He took a deep breath, then looked at me with a small smile. "It's just a little stress. Mum says I still have time to study enough to pass with at least a minimum grade. Talk to me about your nightmare."
I shook my head.
"No no. Do you need help to study? I can help if you'd like."
"It's fine, Evie." He told me. "I want to hear about your nightmare. See if there's anything I can do to make you feel better."
I leaned back on the sofa but kept my eyes on him. "It's the same dream I've been having since it happened. Two months straight. It starts off with him hovering over me while I lie there on the bathroom floor, then he starts punching me and all I can see is his face and the blood gushing from mine and landing on his own skin and clothes. Then suddenly he's raping me. I'm almost unconscious and he just... over and over again."
I closed my eyes as I inhaled sharply. "Then the whole scenery changes to when he threw me down the stairs and just before I wake up, I see his face at the top of his stairs as he slowly makes his way down towards me."
I was breathing heavily at the memory of the dream, the memory of December when he hurt me the worst.
"Look at me, Evie."
I opened my eyes and looked at his face as he instructed. He reached for my hand and rubbed it comfortably before bringing it up to kiss it softly.
"Can you make me a potion?" I asked before he got to say what he wanted to say.
"A potion?"
"A— uh... a calming draught." I said. "To help with this."
He searched my face for any sign of me joking, then let out a chuckle and shook his head.
"Evie, that's a really—"
"... bad idea." I nodded. "Yes, I know. I've gone over it with Fred like a thousand times yesterday morning. He refuses to make one for me. I just— I need something to take the edge and the calming draught helps with shock, trauma and emotional outbursts."
He sighed. "It doesn't cure trauma. It only helps in the now. It's supposed to help one function better during the day but it's not going to cure you. You'd still have to see your therapist and work to get better."
I groaned and let my head fall against his shoulder.
"I know." I muttered. "But I can't keep waking up in the night and throwing up because of how scared I am."
"If you're anxious, you aren't looking for the calming draught, Evie." He told me. "That's the draught of peace."
"Well maybe I need both." I told him. "I am traumatized from Luke but I'm also so anxious, especially about Luke's friends wanting to end me if I don't get him out of Azkaban."
He sighed again.
"Come here." He lifted an arm and wrapped it around me, guiding me to lie down with my head on his lap. He grabbed the blanket that was thrown over the back of the sofa and spread it over my body. "Get some sleep. If you feel the same tomorrow, I might consider brewing you one potion to help take the worst."
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One and Only 3 ; George Weasley
Fanfiction"𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘?" "𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨?"