Rude Boy | Park Jihoon

Ch 26: This empty space

Jihoon

"Please pick up," I muttered and bit my lip while pacing nervously on Zaine's porch. I waited for her to answer my call but endless ringing are the only sounds I hear.

"Jihoon, there's no one here. All the lights are closed," Hyunsuk stated as he walked towards me. "I think we should just go."

"Damn it!" I cursed and tucked the phone back into my pocket because she didn't answer again. Maybe that was the hundreth time I called her. I couldn't count. I just want to talk to her and apologize... tell her everything I wasn't able to say earlier.

I knocked on her front door five times and yelled, "open the god damn door, Zaine!"

"Jihoon, stop. The neighbors are looking..." Hyunsuk muttered and held my shoulder.

I clenched my jaws and rang her doorbell a couple of times. Growing frustrated, I cursed once more and started banging on her door again. "Zaine, open up!"

"Jihoon, just stop! She's not in there!" Hyunsuk pushed me away from the door.

(🎶 empty space 🎶)

I frowned and shook my head, closing my eyes tight as I leaned my back on the wall, thinking how much I fucked up.

"I love her, man," I said, my voice cracking.

"I don't know, Jihoon." He sighed. "If you do then you shouldn't have cheated on her."

"I didn't, alright? I just... I couldn't control myself, specially whenever Doyeon seduces me. My hormones are getting the best of me." I don't even know if I am telling a lie or not.

"Why don't you just be with Doyeon then? That'd make your life easier," he suggested.

"What the fuck? I don't like her, okay?! Don't say it so simply because I will never like that woman," I said firmly and sat down.

"Geez, alright."

I remembered the password of my laptop. That wasn't really my password. Maybe Doyeon changed it earlier when I went to the comfort room. But the reason why Vanessa knew the password is something I don't know. If it is another one of her tactics to make me and Zaine break up then she is crazy. She makes plans then ruins it herself.

I would break up with Zaine if I haven't developed feelings for her yet. Why did I fall in love with her in the first place? It was only an act, it wasn't supposed to be real yet whenever I am with her I feel more alive. The empty spaces in my heart fills up whenever I feel her touch. Whenever she kisses me. Whenever I hear her say those three words.

"Hey, wake up!" Hyunsuk shook my shoulders, taking me away from my daze. "We have to go home, bud. We can't stay here forever."

"No..." I muttered, tears started forming in the corners of my eyes. I'm such a jerk. "I wanna get a drink."

Hyunsuk sighed and pulled me up, grunting in the process. He placed me inside the car and we drove off to a familiar bar. I could only remember taking several shots while the loud music banged in my ears. I stayed by the counter the whole time, pushing away girls that tried to seduce me.

I don't want to make the same mistake. If I truly love her, and if I want her back in my life, I should change. I should prove to her that I won't be the man I was before.

I took a bottle with me as I wandered around the bar searching for Hyunsuk. I couldn't find him anywhere so I decided to go without him. I don't want to be here anymore. I will walk to Zaine's house and wait for her to get home. Who needs a car? And besides, I'm drunk, I can't drive.