Chasing Euphoria

Chapter Thirteen

Cassie

I promised myself that I would stay away and I did.

Removing my distractions was a lot more difficult than I thought. It had taken a few weeks to stick to, but I was finally beginning to focus on my studies rather than allowing myself to be consumed by everything else that came with Northlyn Hills. In the efforts of doing so, I had to decline Elle and Cailen's offers to go out with them many times and the guilt got worse each time I blew them off.

Don't get me started on Landon. I didn't call him, I didn't text him. He would occasionally come into the coffee house, but I resorted to the same small talk I would have with anyone else that came in. At first, he thought something was wrong and tried to get me to go out with him to talk. Every time I declined. Truth be told, I was sickeningly scared that I was going to get wrapped up in him. When we were together for those few times, I changed. I became more trusting and let myself be open. Sometime I was enjoying my surroundings, yet when I came home, I was overthinking about whether I let too much slide. The initial relief from the break was turning sour.

I wasn't prepared to start something I couldn't finish.

After a few times of me shutting down his offers, I told him what I was doing and the reason for it. I felt too bad for practically disappearing. To my luck, he was understanding and didn't give me a hard time. In fact, he supported me and said it would be the best thing. I wasn't sure if he meant for him or for me, but I didn't care. I couldn't help who came and who left, but I could at least make my own decisions. This was the only way I could feel in control of my life.

Constantly looking over my work became tiresome and boring. The books on my desk felt like they were all merging into one. The next time Elle invited me out, I would join her. Cooping myself up inside with no breaks wouldn't be much help. Would one day really hurt? Perhaps it was difficult to remove my distractions because I just needed to allow them in moderation.

Am I a hypocrite?

Probably.

I shut my books closed and threw them to the floor, then remembered how many times I had moaned at Elle for doing the same and picked them up. Step one towards not being a hypocrite.

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" Were Elle's first words as she barged through the door of our room.

Thank God I had cleared my mess, with the way she was acting I was risking losing my head.

"What's going on?" I asked, grabbing her shoulders to stop her rummaging through her drawers.

"I forgot!" She shrugged me away and continued to thrive in her hysteria.

Forgot what?

"Birth control? Why, who are you sleeping with?" I joked, which earned me a snarl.

"Cassie, I swear I'm going to hit you once I find the damned thing." She moved over to her nightstand that didn't match the heigh of the bed, then pulled out her purse. "There you are!"

Is that all she was looking for? What a drama queen. Even I knew that she kept her money in there. However, that didn't explain what she forgot, nor why she was flapping about so much.

I sighed and sat back on my bed, switching on the television for some background noise as she continued to pace back and forth. Instead of asking her and potentially bugging her further, I would wait for her to tell me.

"Get ready, we're going out." She said, throwing me the first clothes she found from my drawers.

Holding up the clothes, I saw a pair of sweat pants and a skirt. No shirt, just those. Putting them back away, I searched for an outfit I could actually leave the room in. "Not that I don't want to – believe me, it's music to my ears – but where are we going?"