I Want You To Know

Chapter 51

Colby POV:

The only thing I've heard when I open the door is Dean's hoarse voice screaming, "Seth!" I stand in shock with my mouth slightly agape, unsure of what to do. I haven't seen him like this before, but now he is laying on the porch in such a vulnerable state.

I can't stop the sharp pain I feel in my heart that I want to rip up my insides. I feel guilty when his pained gaze finally falls on me. My mind blames me repeatedly that I'm the one who has done this to him.

Fresh tears leak out of my eyes as I take slow steps toward him, feeling heavy in my chest. "Fuck, Dean. I'm sorry. I-I didn't think any of this would happen. Please, forgive me. I'm sorry.." I whisper slowly and move my hand to him, almost afraid of approaching him.

The very tips of my rapidly freezing fingers just meet the trailing ends of what I'm hoping is his hair, and I snatch at the tendrils, yanking back as hard as I can. I don't know what to do.

Snowflakes fall over him heavily than I've ever witnessed, so I scrabble at his jacket, trying to get enough purchase to haul him up and drag him inside the cabin. "Dean, I got you. I'm sorry. Come on, breath for me, please." I beg him, but he doesn't give me any response.

I grab him by his cheek and make him look at me in the eyes, feeling ashamed of what I've done to him. I don't have the guts to face him, so I curl up on his lap, making myself as small as possible as I breathe sweet promises against his skin.

My mind flashed back to that day when he helped me into the cold. I wipe my tear away and drag him to the bathroom using the same steps, but the water gets cooled quickly because of the heavy snowing outside.

I stumble down onto my knees helplessly and rest my trembling hand on his wrist for a second before burying my face into his soaking wet shoulder. "I-I don't know what to do." I cry loudly, wrapping my arms around his neck to hold on to him desperately.

"I'm so cold," He breathes out and blinks his eyes rapidly, holding me for dear life.

"Dean? Dean!" I slap his face heavily and make his eyes flit open at the shout. "You need to stay awake, okay? You gotta stay with me."

I pull myself away from his hold and drag him to the bedroom, not wanting him to stay in the water anymore. I try to lift him to bed, but I can't because it's too heavy to maintain his balance against me in the cold.

I sigh and look around for help, feeling defeated. I won't give up on him. "I have to do something," I mumble repeatedly and tug my hair helplessly. I pull the blankets from the bed and move over to wrap them around him, but getting shocked when I find him asleep.

The blankets in my hands fall on the floor as I stare at him worriedly. "Dean, I told you to stay awake. Please, wake up for me.." I try to get him back to consciousness, but nothing works out.

Harsh sobs wrack my body, and I try to press myself closer against him even though there is no space left between us. "Don't leave me, please.." I grab at his wrists and forcefully bring them around my body, making him hold me as I try to wiggle my way into his lap.

When I feel his hand squeeze me lightly, I bury my face into his hair and try to control my emotions that are threatening to take over me. "I fucked up... I always fucked up... I promise I'll be good.." I mumble and press a small kiss on his ear.

"S-Seth," He stutters, shivering heavily from the cold and holding me tighter.

I look around the room and find the blankets, pulling them to me and covering both of our bodies. I bury my face in his chest and listen to his hoarse breathing, feeling my eyes prickle. Thankfully, he still has a steady heartbeat.

His icy fingers squeeze my waist gently before slipping under my shirt. He burrows his nose into my curls and cuddles with me, just letting heat flow into him, right to the frozen core.

I pull my face out of his chest to look up into his eyes, reassuring myself that he is still here, whole and alive with me. "I'm so fucking sorry," I sob out and throw myself against him.

I shudder when he combs his icy fingers through my hair and breaths in my scent. I can feel his shivers that slowly dissipate with our shared body heat. I swallow hard and look into his eyes when his fingers are roaming under my shirt.

"D-Dean.." The word cuts off in my throat as his mouth covers the mine, his tongue probing gently against my lips. I open up to him and brush my hand against his cheek as he deepens the kiss.

When we pull away from each other, I try to move, but his fingers run over my ribs, delighted by the warmth he finds there. I have to do something before we can't regret this moment. I try to bring sense into him, but his mind doesn't ready to listen to any of it.

"P-Please.." He pulls me against his chest and presses small kisses on my neck.

Instead of shoving him away, I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in the crook of his neck. It's all my fault, so I have to suffer the consequences. If I hadn't, no one would have been here to help him.

Tears burn in my eyes when he works for his hands down between us, tugging at my pants. I let out a sharp yelp and look up at him when his icy fingers touch me. I give him a small smile and nuzzle against his cheek, trying to calm down.