I Want You To Know

Chapter 32

Nine months later..

Dean POV:

I groan and straighten my leg from the couch to pull my phone out when it vibrates in my pocket. By the time I dig it out, it's stopped ringing, but it starts again and flashes Alexa's name on the screen.

I place the beer on the coffee table and try to stop the shivering in my hands before swiping the screen to accept the call. "Everything is okay?" I ask her and try to sound as calm as possible. Between this hard situation, there is a fine tremor in my voice to make her not pick up my worry.

"Have you planned to leave Florida?" She asks in a concerned tone, but her voice echoes in a loud and rough tone in my ear.

"Nope." I rub my face in frustration, not wanting to talk about the situation I'm in. It had been seven months since I left Las Vegas, but I still couldn't find Seth.

"Jesus, okay." She says, a deep sigh hitting my ear. "Just try to understand, Dean. It's been nine months since you've waited for him where he has left you. The place may be changed, but you still haven't changed a bit. I fucking hate this. I can't see you getting hurt like this. Please come here.."

"I know," I say softly. I can understand her concern in me but she doesn't care Seth will worry if he remembers me some time. "But I have to do this, Alexa. I don't care if it costs my life. I want to get my Seth back."

"I can understand but it's not that easy to do. Come here and live your life." She says and tries to change my mind.

"Without him, I've no life!" I counter, rubbing a hand over my face. This is so hard, so frustrating, not just for me but for him too. I'm not backing down or backing out until I bring him back to my life.

I shift the phone to my other ear and try to change the subject, "Hey, how are you? Everything is okay with Deanie?"

"Yeah, he is sleeping on the couch. He wants his daddies to take care of him." She says with a slight smile. After I have left Las Vegas, she is the one who is taking care of Deanie. I don't want it to get suffered because of this. It's Seth's pet, so I should take care of it for him.

I laugh a little and remember the memories with it at my house. "I'll be home with Seth soon, so please take care of it for me." I pull the phone away from my mouth to huff out a sigh. I end the call without waiting for her response because I've talked enough about what I want to.

I toss the phone on the couch and lean my back against it, thinking about my life. It's hard to digest the news that he has gone from my life as quickly as he has entered it.

It is the last thing he has given me, this frustration. And I hold it close, remembering it. I built a cage around it and made it part of myself after months later. I keep it close for so long and hope he will break it one day, but that hasn't happened yet.

It's all my fault. If I were truly to be with Roman that day, he would help me, but my fear of losing Seth didn't help at that moment. I tried to contact him by going to his office, but he didn't give me a chance to explain myself.

Yeah... I knew where his office but not his house exactly. When he sent my wallet in postal eight months ago, I came here by the address in it. My guilty got away from me when he blocked all the ways of mine to reach Seth.

I try to lie on the couch because I can't sleep on the bed anymore after he leaves me. The bed feels cold without him but I can still remember how it has felt to fall asleep next to him, knowing I've someone to cling, to keep him closer with me until I feel populous.

I find myself struggling to sleep so I get up and hug my knees to my chest, trying to stay strong through another rough night. I need to take rest more than anyone because I want to search for him tomorrow and make him remind me.

However, as I try, my mind doesn't stop racing to worry about him. I couldn't stop my mind from wandering back to the pleasant months when nights like these were easier when he was there to hold me.

Those times will never come if I haven't seen him again. I want to ask him sorry for letting me leave about nine months once I find him. I want to make him remember our wonderful moments together that we have spent in our house.

I snort as I find the beer bottle is empty, so I get up from the couch to leave the house, wanting to clear my mind. I walk down on the street to go to the shittier looking bar. The bar is dim and stank with smoke, but I don't give a shit.

A group of guys is hanging out around a pool table, talking shit, and feeling up their girlfriends. I notice a couple of girls eyeing me with interest, but I ignore them and order a beer, gulping it half down immediately.

I glance at a finger that is tracing on my arm and try to slide into my jacket. "Whore," I swat the finger away and glare the girl who gives me a seductive smile. I pull my jacket to adjust it and take another gulp from my beer.

The guy from across the bar comes over to me with a pool stick in his hand like a melee weapon. "Hey, how dare you to call my girlfriend as whore?" He yells at me and attacks me with the stick.

I try to attack him, but I can't because my mind is fuzzy. I grab a nearby chair and attack him with it until he backups and collapses on the floor. I throw the chair away and get out of the bar with a bleeding nose.

I wipe the blood on my nose with the sleeve of my jacket and walk towards my house. "Shit!" I grumble and cover my face with my arm when the putrid water on the road hits my face.

I grit my teeth and take a stone from the ground, throwing it on the car. A tear slips from my eye when I see Seth holding his head out through the window and waving a hand at me. "Sorry," He mouths and pulls his head in, leaving the place.