crave

sixty-three

"you really don't have to do this, draco" i laugh as we walk down the corridor, he glares at me. "i'm walking you to class, elizabeth" he says and i roll my eyes. he insisted on walking me to my class just in case brandon showed up again, which i doubt he will. "your class is the other way" i say and he looks at me "elizabeth. don't make me tell you again" he says.

with him helping his father so much and handling brandon we haven't really-well fucked- a lot recently. i know it's weird for that to be something you miss. but i do. i miss everything. i miss his hands on my body. i miss the way he makes me feel. i'm addicted to everything about him. his eyes staring down at me make my body crave him even more.

"or what" i ask and his eyes go dark. he knows what i'm trying to do. "elizabeth, are you trying to play games with me? do you remember what happened when you wanted to play game" he whispers and i shrug. "you seem to enjoy the game" i say and he sighs. "you have to get to class. nice try though" he says as he turns back around and continues walking.

i sigh as i give in and follow him to my class. "is there a reason you don't want me walking you to class" he asks as he grabs my hand. "no. i was just letting you know you didn't have to. i'll be fine" i say and he looks at me "fine. walk yourself. i was just trying to spend some time with you. i'll see you later" he says, letting go of my hand. here he goes again, flipping the switch. it's crazy. "no, draco, stop" i say and he shakes his head "forget it" he says and i look at him. "draco, what's wrong" i ask and he turns back to me. "nothing. get to class" he says and i shake my head.

something is going on with him. he's been so on edge recently. everything i say seems to set him off even when i havent done shit to him.

*draco's pov*
"something is wrong and you're taking it out on me. so tell me what happened" elizabeth orders. she's right. i've been so stressed with everything to do with the dark mark and keeping brandon away that i've started to snap at elizabeth. i hate being so short with her but i can't help it. everything just slips out.

i hate that she can tell something is wrong, she can see me at my most vulnerable point. "nothing is wrong, elizabeth. just go to class" i say, i don't want to tell her about everything right now. i know me worrying about the dark mark will make her worry. she doesn't need to worry. she won't be getting the dark mark, i'll figure out a way to stop it. i hate the thought of that horrible picture going onto her beautiful skin. i hate the thought of it destroying her life. besides, she doesn't need to see me while i'm down. i'm supposed to protect her and how can she trust someone to protect her after she sees how weak they actually are.

"draco, just tell me what's wrong. you suck at hiding it" she laughs "for fucks sake, elizabeth. just leave me alone and stop being such a nag" i snap and her smile drops. i couldn't stop it. again, everything just slipped out. "fine" she sighs as she turns around and starts walking towards her class.

i hate hurting her. she doesn't deserve to be yelled at. she's done nothing wrong. it's just she's always here when i snap. she's just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. when everything starts to overflow she's the one the shit spills on.

*elizabeths pov*
fuck him. all i was trying to do was help. it's obvious something is wrong but no he has to be all macho man and just push me away. doesn't he know he doesn't have to be strong in front of me? i don't fucking care. i just wish he would stop taking everything out on me for once.

in the middle of class i hear a noise, sort of a clicking. i look around, no one else seems to notice it. i look at the door, draco stands outside of it, softly tapping on the window with his wand. i hold in a laugh as i look at him. "professer, may i use the bathroom" i ask and professor flitwick nods.

i walk out of the classroom and draco sighs as he looks at me. "were you busy" he asks and i laugh "not really, no. why" i ask. "come with me" he grabs my hand and i laugh. his eyes seem tired, not like a sleepy tired, but a 'tired of life' tired. "where are we going" i ask and he shakes his head "it's a surprise" he says and i roll my eyes. "but it's a sort of cheesy, stupid, surprise so don't laugh at it. okay?" he says as he continues to walk me throughout the school. "okay" i say and he nods.

"the astronomy tower" i laugh as he pulls me up the steps "just wait" he says and i sigh. we make it to the top and i smile as i look at the set up. a small blanket is thrown out over the floor and food is set up everywhere along with drinks. another small vase with a single flower in it sits in the middle. "i wanted to do something since i've been an ass lately" he shrugs and i smile "thank you. you didn't have to do this" i say as i kiss his cheek. "well, sit down" he says and i laugh as i sit down on the blanket.

"i'm sorry for being like i am. i don't mean to be rude all of the time, i really try to work on it. it just slips out sometimes. none of what i say is true, it's jsut out of frusturation" he explains and i shake my head. "i know, draco. don't worry, nobody's perfect. and trust me, i've heard worse" i laugh and he nods. "i'm just stressed out, really. i know you don't want to hear of it, you have your own problems" he says as he pours me a drink. i smile as i look at him. another side of draco.

the small side. the side that just needs somebody to talk to. that feels so alone. the side of him that he's pushed away and now i get to see it.

"it's alright. you can talk about it, draco. i'm not going anywhere" i assure him and he looks at me. "i'm stressed about the dark mark. i don't want it. it's such a horrible thing, represents absolute evil. i don't want ot be like that. i don't want to be like my father. but i can't walk away. i can't walk away from my mother, she needs me. i just don't know what to do anymore. i don't know how to get out of it" he sighs, he avoids eye contact with me. i remember when i used to worry about it. until i realized there really is no way out of it.

"you're nothing like your father, draco. you care for people, you aren't evil or cruel. you were just raised a certain way and it's hard to get away from that. but i promise you, you are nothing like him. you don't have to worry about that" i say and he sighs "you don't know that, elizabeth. you don't know what goes on inside of my head. i hate myself for some of the things i think" he looks at me. as i look at him i can truly see just how much pain and guilt he holds. "draco, the point is you try. you recognize the things you do and you try to fix it. no man i know does that. you're okay, draco. you're working on it" i assure him and he shakes his head.

"have you ever been scared of me, elizabeth" he asks and i look at him "what do you mean" i ask. "have you ever thought i was going to hurt you on purpose" he asks and i sigh "honestly" he adds. "only once. but recently, no. but you have to admit, you weren't the nicest person when i first got here" i laugh and he nods. "i'll never hurt you, elizabeth. if i do i'll hate myself forever" he says and i smile "i know, draco. i know i'm safe when i'm with you" i say and a small smile grows on his face.

"you don't have to worry, draco. you aren't a bad person" i say and he sighs "i just get worried sometimes, that when i snap at you, you'll forget how much i love you and leave. out of all the billion people world, you're the only one i'm truly scared of losing, elizabeth" he says and i smile. sometimes with draco i forget were just kids and everything we say right now won't even matter when we're both older and married. sometimes i feel like i could live the rest of my life with him and never complain. everything he says sends sparks throughout me and he doesn't even know it.

"you're not going to lose me, draco. not anytime soon" i say as i place my hand on top of his "now, let's eat. because i'm starving" i laugh and he nods. "i got a little bit of everything because i didn't know what you were in the mood for" he says as he starts to take food out.

as we eat and talk about other things it's like everything we just said never happened. we go from sappy, in-love, people to just enjoying each other's company. we both occasionally glance at one another and we end up laughing when we catch eachother doing it. though, the tired look stays in his eyes. but i understand, sometimes your mind needs more than talk to make it feel better. it needs change, and i hate that there most likely will be no change for draco.