crave

seventy-six

it's not what i wanted. not at all. honestly, i wanted him to be hurt on the side of the street, that would be the reason he bailed on me. not for pansy, who he says he doesn't feel anythign towards, but how am i supposed to believe that?

i keep telling myself 'it's just a break. you'll be together soon' but what if he finds out that he's better off without the traumatized, bitchy, girl. then what? am i supposed to stop loving him? yes, i know i'm the one that told him we needed a break, but we do. we're both crumbling to the ground and bringing the other one with us. so we need time to build ourselves up again and make sure we're sturdy.

just because i told him we were on a break, doesn't make this any easier. i already miss the feeling of his arm around me and the warmth he shares at night. i miss his snarky remarks and his sweet words. i miss everything already.

"you alright, liz? did draco do something again" esmeray laughs, pulling me out of my trance. "yeah. we broke up" i sigh, causing the group to go silent. "wait, what? why" caleb freaks and i look at him "we need time. just time to ourselves" i shrug and he looks at esmeray "are you okay" she asks and i turn to her. "i will be. just go back to eating" i say and she nods.

i look back at the slytherin table, draco no where to be seen. pansy is though, so he must have canceled. funny, don't you think it's a little to late to start canceling your plans with pansy, draco? pansy notices me and glares "bitch" she mouths and the only thing holding me back from beating the shit out of her, is the weight on my chest that hasn't gone away since last night.

after breakfast i walk with the group through the corridor, kai splits off to his first class, the same with caleb and cam, so now it's just me and esmeray. "tell me what happened, liz" she says and i sigh "he missed our valentine's date. he was with pansy. and i was just so tired of coming in last to her. i told him that we needed time, he needed time to finsih whatever he was doing, and i needed time to just figure things out. we were only hurting each other by staying together, so i ended it" i say and she looks at me.

"you did the right thing, liz. i'm sure you two will figure things out, but you're right. he does need to finish his training and you need time to think about you. you'll be alright, you both will" she says and i shrug "i know. it's just going to take a little getting used to i guess" i say and she nods. "that's what i'm here for, to get your mind off of him" she smiles as i look at her. "but first, charms" she laughs as she drags me into the classroom.

*draco's pov*
another dream kept me up all night, yet this time i couldn't run to elizabeth in the morning. i understand why she says we need a break, we really do. but i don't want a break. i don't care if us being together completely destroys me. i need her. i know hse said that we'll be together again, but will we? it seemed so easy for her to throw it all away, so what if that was her just letting me off easy?

"draco, get the fuck up" pansy snaps as she walks into my room "no" i sigh as i look at her. "oh come on, stop moping around. be happy, you have some freedom" she laughs and i shake my head. "i don't want fucking freedom, pansy. i want elizabeth" i say and she sighs "she's fine without you, she was at breakfast with cam and everybody. obviously she doesn't feel the same" she rolls her eyes.

she has to be lying. elizabeth loves me. she can't just toss me to the side like that.

"shut the fuck up" i spit and pansy looks at me "don't treat me like shit just because your slut of the month ended it" she says and i shake my head. "don't speak of her like that. you don't know shit about her" still i stick up for elizabeth. that's what i'll always do. protect her.

"oh my fucking god, i'm done. deal with your father by yourself" pansy scoffs as she walks out of my room. i left with the silence again, staring at the wall, thinking 'how could i let this happen?' how could i lose something so great?

*elizabeth's pov*
my whole day consists of tryign to get draco out of my head. trying not to think of everything we have ever done. i'm really starting to think this whole break was a mistake, but i can't back out now. i need time to myself and he needs the same.

i sigh as i look down at the paper in front of me, the only thing written 'mother,' i want to write to her, tell her all about what's happening. but i know she won't care. so there's no need. i hear a door open and i turn to see draco coming out of his room. our eyes meet and it takes everything in me not to run to him. he doesn't say anything as he walks down the stairs, his eyes looking anywhere but mine. "you should take the jewelry off. gives off the wrong idea" he says, still not looking at me.

i look down, the ring he got me still shines on my finger and the necklass hangs around my neck. "i will" i answer, though, he's already gone. i sigh as i look at where he was standing, maybe this really was a mistake. or maybe it will all work out. i just hope i figure it out soon.