crave

ninety-three

one month later
draco walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me, looking at the two of us in the mirror. i've gained the weight back that i lost, and i've stopped biting my nails. of course, not everything is perfect. i still have horrible nightmares, and any noise i hear when i'm alone scares me, but i know i'm safe.

"i'm going to miss you" i laugh as i turn around, looking up at draco. "you could come stay at the manor" he shrugs and i shake my head "i have to go see my mohter, she's all alone in that house. and with everything happening next month, i'm sure i'll see you. but i'll write to you" i nod and he sighs. next month it finally happens. the dark mark, branded onto us forever. i'm not even that upset about it, i've known i've had to get it forever, i've mentally prepared myself. but draco, he hates it. i've seen him go crazy just thinking about it. and i hate that for him.

"we should get going then, don't want to miss the train" he says as he pulls away and lifts both of out bags up. "you don't have to carry my bag, i can get it" i laugh as i tuck my wand into my side. "just go, elizabeth" he shakes his head, gesturing me out of the door.

we get loaded onto the train and i sit beside draco. "you know once you get the mark you can't wear those dresses anymore, you have to hide it" he says and i nod "i know." he sighs "that's the worst part, promise you'll still put them on when we're all alone" he looks down at me and rolls his eyes. "no promises" i mock and he shakes his head "fuck, that green dress you wore that one time and the mark, masterpiece" he says and i laugh. "you go put the dress on" i roll my eyes, he looks at me "i would look great in a dress for your information" he says and i laugh.

*draco's pov*
"you really didn't have to bring me home" elizabeth laughs but i just shake my head. i knew she would be paranoid the whole way, she's been lke that since her father was put away. and i hate it, i hate how he still controls her. but she's gotten better. she smiles more.

"just go inside and stop trying to control me" i roll my eyes, she shakes her head "thank you. i love you" she hugs me. instinctively, i wrap my arms around her, leaving a kiss on her head before she pulls away. "i love you too, elizabeth" i say as she walks inside with a smile.

"mother i'm home" i yell through the house once i make it to the manor. no answer. i sigh as i walk into the kitchen, "mother, what's going on" i ask once i'm met with a table full of people. my father, my mother, theodore, crabbe's father, bellatrix lestrange, and at the head of the table sits the dark lord.

"son, come sit down" she says and i look at everyone, looking at me. "no, tell me what's going on" though, i think i already know. this can't happen, not yet, not now. not without elizabeth.

"this is what you've been training for, son. it's time" my father looks at me "what? but i'm not supposed to get the mark until next month. with elizabeth" i shake my head. "elizabeth is not getting one. since her father's been put away, and her mother has gone crazy, we don't believe she'll be able to do what we want her to" the news hits me.

she's not getting one. oh thank merlin. she doesn't have to deal with that. she doesn't have to live with it.

"but seeing as she knows that you're getting the dark mark, she's a risk" the dark lord looks at me, that can't mean what i think it does. no. "what do you mean? she won't tell anyone. i won't tell her i got it" i start to spit off ways i can stop him from hurting her.

"if she finds out, if she tells someone, both of you are at risk" my mother says and i shrug "she won't find out" i assure them, though, i don't know how i'll keep it from her. "if she finds out, she's dead. if she gets in your way, she's dead. do you understand" the dark lord looks at me, i nod. anything to keep her safe.

"now, come boy, give me your arm" the voice is cold and so is the look. i let out a breath, it's actually happening. it's happening too fast. i look at my father, he nods, then at my mother, she just sighs. i walk over to the dark lord, lifting my left arm. he touches his wand to my arm and a shooting pain runs up my body. as if knives are running through my vains. my arm begins to shake, the dark lords grip getting tighter as the mark starts to appear. finally, it's over.

i pull my arm away and look down at the mark on my arm, fresh, ugly, horrible. i close my eyes and let out a breath, not wanting to look at it anymore. "your task, my boy, kill albus dumbledore" again, the news hits. harder this time.

there's no way i can do that. elizabeth would hate me forever, i'd be a killer. i can't kill anyone. why dumbledore? how?

"fix the vanishing cabinet in the room of requirements. that will be our way in. then, you kill albus. do you understand" the dark lord asks, i'm silent other then the slow nod i give. still trying to figure everythign out. i have to keep this from elizabeth or she dies. i have to fix the cabinet without elizabeth knowing, or she dies. i have to kill dumbledore or i die.

"very well, we're done here" the dark lord stands along with the other death eaters in the room. disappearing before i can say another word.

"draco" my mother sets her hand on my shoulder, but i push her hand off of me. how could she let me get into this? how could she watch her son crumble? "just make sure you keep this from elizabeth and she'll be safe. i promise" she says but i just shake my head. "how am i supposed to do that? how am i supposed to fix this fucking cabinet and kill dumbledore and keep elizabeth safe? i'm just a boy, mother, i can't do everything" i look at her and she sighs. "i'm going up to my room. please, don't bother me" i scoff as i grab my bag and walk up the stairs.