crave

seventy-seven

1 week later
the image constantly runs through my mind, playing over and over. his lips on hers. her body against his. his hand around her throat, enjoying every second of it. i can remember freezing as soon as i saw it, the music faded and it was like everyone else disappeared. it was only me, him, and her. he had already moved on. so quickly, after everything he said. what made it even worse was when later that night i saw him pull her up the stairs and into his room. that's when i knew i had really lost him and in only a week. that's when i knew that what i had done was really a mistake, a mistake i couldn't come back from.

"liz, you have to stop thinking about it" esmeray sighs as she turns to me "how am i supposed to stop thinking about it? he fucking fucked her" i snap and caleb laughs. "aren't you the one that broke up with him" he asks and i glare at him "i said 'break'. as in sort things out, not fuck other girls. he didn't have time to fuck me when we were together how does he have time now" i say and cam sighs. "listen, how about we stop talking about draco" he says and esmeray nods.

"i still have like three bottles of firewhiskey from the party i threw, we can drink some tonight. get your mind off of things" esmeray says and i laugh "yes, please" i say and she smiles. "we'll come to your room tonight, just let us in" kai says and i nod "alright, i better get going though. my rooms a mess" i laugh and cam nods. "see you later, liz" caleb says and i nod "later"

*draco's pov*
none of them are the same. no matter how hard i try, nobody is elizabeth. the first girl i hooked up with, the night of the party, i knew elizabeth saw us together. i knew it crushed her, i could see it in every part of her. but i can't stay hooked on her when there's no promise of us getting back together. so after that girl i just kept going, any girl that would throw themselves at me, i had them. but not one of them got my mind off elizabeth. maybe it's the fact that they do throw themselves at me while elizabeth never did. or maybe it's because i don't love these girls like i love elizabeth.

it's been a week, different girl everyday, and every single one only makes me miss her more. or maybe it's the dreams every night that continue to get worse. one of them i killed her. another, i was there but i couldn't save her. one i watched her stab herself. the only way i don't have them, is if i'm too tired to dream. which means, staying up later than i should, and over working myself. but that's what i have to do, to forget elizabeth, because i'm afraid she's not coming back.

*elizabeth's pov*
the alcohol burns my throat but it relaxes my mind. it blurs my thoughts so they don't exist anymore. my smile might just be from the alcohol, but it's still there. "and then she completely tumbles down the stairs, it was hilarious. you looked like a rhino" cam laughs and esmeray rolls her eyes "i did not, you asshat" she defends herself. cam continues to tell stories from before i was a part of their group, making me feel better. "yes you did. you're lucky nobody else saw it" caleb laughs and esmeray downs the rest of her drink.

"how about we talk about the time cam cheated on his girlfriend" she says, obviously drunk and angry. "hey, she was a bitch. i had my reasons" he says and i laugh "got that right" i shake my head and he nods. "how about we talk about the time kai forgot his owl at home" caleb laughs and i shake my head "how the fuck do you forget a whole owl" i ask and he shrugs. "don't ask me" he laughs and i smile as i down the rest of my drink. "alright, we should get going. i'll leave the rest of the bottle for you, liz" esmeray says and i nod.

as they walk out i grab the bottle and pour myself another cup, washing him away with every sip. trying to forget the way his lips felt on mine or hte way his hand felt against my cheek. trying to forget the way he cares for his mother. or the way he cared for me. but with so much to wash away, soon i'm left with an empty bottle, and an empty mind.

*draco's pov*
the girl of the day lays beside me out of breath though, i still feel nothing. once i'm sure she's asleep i get up, throwing my pants on before walking out to the common room. it's late. nobody else is up so i sit down on the couch. a crash echos through the room causing me to look around. nothing. another crash coming from elizabeth's room.

i want to run up to her, i want to see what's wrong. what if she's being hurt? i saw cam in there earlier, what if he's hurting her? would she want me to help her?

i can't help myself. i'm up the stairs in seconds, but instead of barging in, i listen. "you stupid, stupid, fuck" her cries break me as another crash echos, what is happening? i want to go in and hold her, but she said we needed a break. and that's what i'm giving her. "it's all too much. it's just too much" she cries, her words are slurred, she's drunk. my poor elizabeth. "look at you, you pathetic-you pathetic slut" she yells at herself. no, she can't think that of herself. she has to know she's perfect.

another crash but this time she cries out in pain, she's hurt. "son of a bitch" i hear her sigh, so she's okay. so there's no reason for me to run in the room. no need for me.