crave

ninety-six

a/n: im sorry

if i don't get a letter today that means it's over. i've written everyday, telling him how much time he has left. but still no answer. i've gotten less scared, i've showered, but still hardly slept.

today will mark a month of him ignoring me. so if i don't get a letter in the next hour, that means he threw it all away. he wants to forget me. he wants to walk away. and i can't stop him any more. i still can't figure out what changed, what i did, what he did, i can't think of anything. is someone making him do this? or is he doing it on his own? is he upset? or does he not care? has he read the letters? or has he just thrown them away? will i ever know?

*draco's pov*
the owl arrives for what i'm sure is the last time. its been a month. the hardest, most heartbreaking, month. but it had to be done. this way i can work on the cabinet without worrying about her. i can kill dumbledore without worrying.

i grab the letter that is attached to a book, i recognize it. the book she took out of the library here. oh my god. this is really happening.

i sigh, preparing myself for what i'm about to read. i rip open the envelope, the necklace i got her and the ring falling out into my hand, another sigh.

"draco,
     well, it's been a month. and i promised myself i'd let you go now. this one's going to be long, so if you're reading this, take a seat.
     i don't know why you've done this but i hope you're happy with your decision. i hope you're getting what you've wanted this past month. i don't know what happened, becasue the last day i saw you, we were happy. i thought. i went home happy. you left happy. but i don't think i'm going to get an explanation. so if there is somebody else, i wish you two the best. and i hope she's what you really wanted, what i couldn't be.
     you're the best thing that ever happened to me, draco. i remember that time on the astronomy tower when you told me that i might think happiness will never exist for me but it will come some day. well, it did. it was you. so thank you for that. thank you for showing me what true happiness feels like. it's a great feeling. thank you for everything you've done for me, you saved me, draco. and i'll always be grateful for that.
     i like to believe that you actually loved me, that every moment we spent together was real. but over this past month, that hope has faded. i don't believe you loved me as long as you said you did. maybe in the beginning, but not long. and i can understand that, i just wish you had told me. you know i would have understood.
     happy early birthday, draco. i hope you have a great birthday, and you get everything you've ever wished for. and i don't know if you got the mark or not, but i didn't. nobody ever showed. so if you did, good luck with whatever you have to do.
     you deserve so much, draco. i know you don't believe me when i say this, but you are a good person. you deserve the world. you deserve someone that loves you to the moon and back millions of times. you deserve someone that can bring you happiness and teach you what love is like, like you did for me.
     i attached the book that belongs to your mother, tell her i enjoyed it. also, the jewelry you got me, i don't need it anymore. you can keep the ring i got you, if you want.
     i don't know if i'm coming back to school next year, someone has to stay here and take care of the house. and i think it's for the best. please tell pansy i'll miss her, also tell your mother that she's amazing. and please never forget how much i loved you.
     well, i think this is the end. i love you, draco, and i always will. please stay safe and take care of yourself. and remember to smile, you have an amazing smile.
 
               elizabeth alure"

i stare at the letter, tears dropping down onto the paper. i've really lost her. this is what i wanted right? this had to happen. i've really lost her. i've lost her smile, and her skin, and her eyes, her everything. i've lost it. this is for the best, right? this is the only way to protect her. this is the only way to keep her alive. to keep her safe. right? i'm doing the right thing, right? i haven't fucked everything up, right?

i bite my shaky lip as i grip the letter, regreting everything i've done. because now i've lost her. i've lost elizabeth. my sweet, elizabeth is no longer mine. but this had to happen. to protect her. anything to protect elizabeth.

a/n: this is not the end of the story, i know it seems like it, but no. anyways, <3