crave

one hundred two

"draco,
     i don't know if you're even at the manor but if you're reading this i hope you're safe. i understand why you did what you did, so don't think i'm upset with you. and just know, i don't blame you for esmeray and caleb's death.
     i'm at my house with kai and cam, i couldn't let them stay at hogwarts, now after everything that's already happened. we're safe.
     please come see me, i want to talk to you. i need to see you. i hope this all ends well, so we can be happy like we deserve. i know not every love story has it's happy ending, but for fucks sake we deserve ours. so please, come see me or at least write back.
     love,
           elizabeth"

i fold the letter up and send it to the manor, hoping he'll get it.

i've gotten cam and kai set up in a guest room. i've locked the doors and the all the windows, though i don't know what use it will do for a group of evil wizards against three young students. i've made sure we have enough food and supplies to stay in for a while, because i'm not sure how outside will be. a picture of esmeray hangs up beside a picture of caleb, right above the fireplace. we can make this work.

"liz, if you don't mind, i'm just going to shower and go ahead to bed" kai says, i can tell he's the most torn up about esmeray. i do believe they would have ended up together.

"that's fine, kai. this is your home now too" i say and he nods, walking back up the stairs.

i sigh as i lean my head in my hands, thinking about everything that's happened in the past days. first, draco starts ignoring me, we break up. then i go back to school and we still ignore eachother. then he shows up randomly warning me to leave, kisses me, and i realize he has the dark mark. then, he comes back telling me esmeray and caleb died. and snape killed dumbledore. then he tells me there could be a war. like what the actual fuck is going on?

"you alright" cam's voice interrupts my thinking, i look up to see him standing at the door of the kitchen. "honestly, no. but i will be. just trying to figure this all out" i say and he sighs. "do you really think there will be a war" he asks, sitting in front of me.

"i don't know, cam. if there is, we'll deal with it then. for now we just have to- we have to plan a memorial service for esmeray and caleb. it can be small, just us. but it has to be beautiful" i say as tears threaten to fall again.

my throat burns again as i try to hold the tears in, not wanting to cry in front of him.

"we will" he says and i sigh as i lean my head in my hands again.

"elizabeth" draco's voicw makes my heart stop. i look over and he looks at me from the door of the kitchen. i let out a breath as i stand up and run to him, wrapping my arms around him.

this is what i need. i need him.

i take in his scent, the one i've missed so much. i appreciate the feeling of his arms around me. his head in the crook of my neck.

he holds me tight to him as if he's never going to let go. i can feel the tears falling now, no more holding it back.

"we're okay, elizabeth. everything's going to be okay" he sighs as i pull away. "i'll give you two a second" cam says as he walks out.

draco looks at me before bringing his hand up and wiping the tears from my face. "you look good, elizabeth" he says and i sigh. "i don't feel good" i say and he nods as he grabs my hand and pulls me over to the table.

he sits down in front of me and sighs "i'm staying at the manor. voldemorts looking for harry, wants him dead, says he was working with dumbledore or something. i'm helping him, i don't want to, but i have to. stay away from the school, it's a hell hole right now. an-" i cut him off as i put my hand on top of his. "i don't want to talk about that right now, draco. i want to talk about you. what happened? why? i mean, i sort of understand everything, but i don't. if that makes since" i say and he sighs.

"the day summer started, after i walked you home, i got my mark. they told me you weren't getting yours so if you knew i got mine, they'd have to kill you. they said if you knew about my task, they'd have to kill you. and they said if you got in my way, they'd kill you. and i couldn't think of how i would keep it from you, so i thought my only choice was to end things between us. but i couldn't do it. so i got you to do it. and i'm so sorry. i read every letter about how scared you were and how hurt you were, but i knew if i spoke to you, you'd be in even more danger" he explains and i sigh.

"and then i had to fix this cabinet that let the death eaters into the school and i was supposed to kill dumbledore but i chickened out and snape did it" he breaths out and i look at him. "you did good, draco. you did the right thing" i say and he looks at me.

"i missed you so much, elizabeth. god i was miserable" he sighs and i nod "i know but we're together now. so that's the bright side" i say and he shakes his head. "i have to go back to the manor. they want to keep me there for some reason. but i'll write to you and i'll come see you. i promise. and when you do the memorial for esmeray and caleb, let me know. i'll come" he says and i nod.

he stands up and i do the same. i walk him to the door and look at him. "i'm scared, draco" i admit as tears threaten to fall again. i don't know how i'm supposed to do this.

he sighs as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him "be strong, elizabeth. i know you can. i'm here now, right here. we'll make it out of this. i promise" he says and i nod as he pulls away. "i love you" he says and the words make my knees weak. i missed those words coming from him.

"i love you too" i say and he smiles as he walks out. we can do this. we can make it out of this.