crave

eighty-eight

room eighteen. thirteen. fourteen. fifteen- "eighteen" i sigh as i get to the room, the dirty white curtain hangs to give my mother privacy. not much use though, she's inches away from the person beside her, and the sheet is practically see through.

"i'll stay out here" draco let's go of my hand and i nod "thank you." he walks over to a small chair across the room and sits down.

i step into the small space inside of the curtain and look at my mother. she looks alright physically. but i can see pain in her eyes, her hand shaking ever so slightly, the chewed skin on her lips, the short nails that she's bitten off, it doesn't even look like her. "elizabeth" she breaths out as i sit down beside the hospital bed "mother" i shake my head. "yes, sorry, liz" she says and i'm honestly shocked, usually i would have gotten some shitty remark about how i should respect my grandmother.

"how are you feeling" i ask and she sighs "crazy. the doctors say i shouldn't be feeling any pain now but it's like hundreds of tiny needles constantly going in and out of my skin. i can't get rid of this feeling. it's not as bad as when he did it, but it's not gone" she shakes her head.

the image of my mother in pain has been in my head constantly for the past two days, her scream echoing inside my head. i've hardly slept, but i'm sure my mother hasn't either.

"it should get better soon, i hope" i sigh and she nods "i have to testify wednesday" i say and she looks at me. the bags under her eyes make her look like a completely different person. "against your father? you can't do that" she says and i scoff, is she really defending him again?

"what do you mean? you're tesitfying" i ask and she sighs "they're making me but he'll be furious with you. and imagine how many people will find out about your father, it will ruin the family name" she says. now i feel like i could go crazy. after everything he's done, to her, to me, to this family, she's still defending him."i don't care about the family name mother, this family name is shit. he already has a life sentence in azkaban, there's no stopping it. so there is no need to hide what he's done, everyone knows he's a scumbag already. now they'll know he's a scumbag that rapes his daughter" i spit out and she looks at me.

"get out" she seethes and i scoff "are you serious right now?" "i said get out" her voice is louder now as she turns her head from me. a doctor steps in and looks at me "miss alure, visiting is over" she nods and i laugh "this is fucking crazy" i shake my head as i stand up.

i walk out of the curtain and immediatly start my way out of the door. "elizabeth" draco calls out as he tries to catch up with me. i shake my head as i storm out of the hospital, nothing but pure rage flowing through me. "how could she defend him still? after this, after everything, she still fucking defends him. it's like she doesn't even care how psycho he is. he could do anything and she'd still run right back to him. i mean for fucks sake, she's supposed to care. isn't there a maternal instinct that's supposed to make her care about me? about how i'm hurting? it's like she's fucking brainwashed" i rant out as draco makes it beside me.

"she cares, elizabeth, she jus-" "no. no the fuck she doesn't. you can't keep saying that. it's a lie. and you know it. you're not supposed to lie to me" i stop walking and look at him. "how am i supposed to testify against him in three days? there are so many things, so many unthinkable things he has done, things that nobody will believe he did. what if they don't believe me? what if he convinces them to let him go? what will i do then? i know, i'll die. he'll kill me" i start to panic again and draco sighs.

"elizabeth, they won't let him go. no matter what, he'll never hurt you again. and they know how evil he is, they'll believe you. you're mother has spent most of her life with him, listening to him, she's not just going to give him up that easily. she loves him, i don't know why, but she does" he laughs and i nod "let's get back to hogwarts, you need some rest" he says, grabbing my hand as we start walking. "i'm not tired" i lie, i'm so tired, so tired of everything. but this tired can't be solved with sleep. this is an overwhelming, draining, tired, that is swallowing me. and also just regular tired, but everytime i close my eyes all i see is that giant red light hitting my mother and the deafening sound of her wail.

"yes you are" he scoffs and i laugh "whatever" i shake my head.

*draco's pov*
we walk into the common room, elizabeth dragging along. i know she's tired, i haven't seen her sleep in two days, not a single minute. the tiredness in her eyes has overpowered the sparkle i love so much.

i see pansy on the couch and she smiles "oh hey, what are you two up to" she asks and elizabeth looks at her. "just got back from seeing my mother" she answers and pansy's smile fades "how is she" her sympathetic tone replaces her usual one. "here, take my seat" pansy stands up and moves to the chair as me and elizabeth sit on the couch.

"she was alright, same bitch as usual" elizabeth scoffs as i place my hand on her thigh, an instinct by now. pansy looks at me and i sigh "what are you doing wednesday" i ask and she shrugs. "can you cover elizabeth's classes, we have plans" i ask pansy, trying to get things sorted out for the trial. "of course, is it about the trial" she asks and elizabeth looks at her "you know about that" she asks, a hint of worry in her voice. "oh yeah, it was in the daily prophet. everyone was talking about it, i heard you're supposed to testify, some students are planning on being there" she says and i shake my head. that's only going to make elizabeth more nervous.

"i can tell them not to go, if you'd like? i can throw a party that evening to distract everyone" pansy offers and elizabeth smiles "you would do that" she laughs. pansy nods "of course, i owe you" she says and elizabeth nods. i'm glad they've gotten close again, i missed being able to not worry about them bickering all of the time.

as me and pansy continue to talk about random things, catching up on things about my father, i can feel elizabeth starting to doze off. her breathing steadies and her grip on my hand is loose. i look over at her and smile, finally seeing her get some sleep. i carefully lean her head over onto my shoulder and adjust, making sure she's comfortable. "i better get going, spreading the word about the party. see you later" pansy says and i nod as she walks away.

i look at elizabeth, still sleeping peacefully. i'm sure the dream she's having, if she is, isn't peaceful, but at least she's getting sleep. i kiss the top of her head, taking time to take in her scent, before getting comfortable listening to the fire, sure i'll be here for a while.