crave

seventy-five

the whole day i've been waiting for the dinner tonight, telling esmeray about his letter, what i'm going to where, everything. i haven't seen him at all today which isn't a new thing. bu i've kept my hopes up for this dinner. for us to be together.

"okay good luck, don't hurt yourself with all the sex you'll be having tonight" esmeray laughs and i roll my eyes as i walk into the common room and up to my room. after i shower i put on draco's favorite dress of mine, the skin tight black dress with a very low v-neck. i tuck my wand into the dress and look at myself in the mirror. i look hot as fuck. for the first time in a while my skin has no bruises, no cuts, it's just smooth. my hair falls perfectly over my shoulders and back. i look amazing.

i make it to the resturaunt around five forty-nine and i'm seated at a back table. "these are for you" the waiter says, handing me a bouqet of flowers "from mr. malfoy" he says and i smile. "thank you" i say, grabbing the flowers and setting them on the table. "would you like to get started with a drink while you wait for him" he asks and i shake my head "no thank you, he shouldn't be too long" i say and he nods, walking away.

i smile as i look at the flowers, the beautifully set table, the view out of the window, everything looks perfect. now just to wait for draco. though, i did get here earlier than he said so i'll give him time.

twenty minutes pass, making it ten passed six. my hopes are still high though, he's always fashionablly late, isn't he? though, i did go ahead and order a drink.

another ten minutes and my hopes for the night have started to die down. he's passed the fashionablly late mark, now he's just late. "ms.alure, would you like something to eat while you wait" the waiter asks and i look at him "no thank you, he shouldn't be much longer" i sigh and he nods, walking away again.

i've now waited fourty-five minutes and still no sign of draco. my hopes are so far gone it's as though they've never existed. the annoying fucking waiter comes back every ten minutes asking if i want food, it's embarrassing honestly. but i can't give up yet. my limit is an hour.

i look at the clock and it reads seven in the evening. i've been blown off by my own boyfriend. for pansy parkinson. on valentine's day. i sigh as i pull out some money and throw it on the table for the drinks i ordered before walking out. stupid of me to think i would be the thing on his mind tonight, right? i mean he has spent every night for the past three weeks with her, 'training' apparently. what does he even have to train for? he's getting the dark mark, he doesn't know what the task is yet. i've been played.

i walk into the common room around seven-thirty, my feet cramping from the heels on my feet. i sigh as i walk up to my room and throw my bag down. i look in the mirror and shake my head "that fucking asshole. look at you, you got so dressed up and for what? to sit in a resturaunt embarrassed on valentine's day? fool, that's what you are. a fool for thinking he would put you in front of pansy. in front of somebody he has known his entire life. you can't keep anyone around can you? not even your own parents" i yell at myself in the mirror. angry at everybody and everything.

*draco's pov*
fuck. fuck fuck fuck. how could i do this? i got caught up with my father and pansy and lost all track of time. i promised her. i told her i would be there. fuck. i've bailed on her every single night, every morning, and now valentine's day. i can imagine her, sitting at the table excitedly waiting for me, and i never show. the smile fading from her face as she realizes i'm not coming. fuck, draco, how could you do this?

i quickly walk into the common room around eleven and look around, hoping she'll be in here. i sigh as i walk up the stairs and knock on her door, "elizabeth, i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry" i call through the door, hoping she'll let me in. "please, elizabeth" the door opens, i look down at the girl in front of me. the mascara stains on her cheeks, her hair tied up, the disappointment on her face. "nice of you to show up" she laughs and i shake my head "i'm sorry. god, i'm so sorry, elizabeth. i just got caught up an-" "i dont' want to hear it anymore, draco. i know i'm not your only priorty but you say i'm your first and right now i really don't feel like it. right now i feel like i'm at the bottom of the list. under pansy, your father, training for whatever the fuck your training for, everything. and i can't do that. i can't be the one you go to when you want a fuck but then walk away. i can't just be here for ever bad dream you have and then be left alone in the morning. i just can't do it anymore" she says and i realize how badly i've messed up.

"what do you mean" i ask, though i already know the answer. "i mean we need to take a break" she sighs and tears fill her eyes.

i don't know what to say. this can't happen. not like this. not ever. no.

"no. please, elizabeth. i know i'm shit at this and that i've been a terrible person lately but i promise it'll end soon. you are the only thing i ever think about, elizabeth. you take up my entire life and i love it. you have to give me a chance, please" i beg and she looks at me "i've given you chances, draco. so many fucking chances" she says as a tear rolls down her cheek. "elizabeth, i can't lose you right now. please" i fight, i fight for her to listen to me but i fear it's too late.

"draco, this doesn't mean forever. it just means while you sort things out with pansy and your father, i'm not going to be a distraction" she sighs and i shake my head "no, elizabeth. i don't care if you distract me, you're the only thing i ever want to think about, to look at. i love you" i say and she looks at me "i'll quit the training. i'll quit everything" i say but still she shakes her head. "if we stay together right now, we'll only ruin ourselves more. we're only hurting each other right now. so we take a break and i'm sure we'll find our way back to eachother" she says and i can tell this is hurting her too.

she's right. we aren't doign the best right now, obviously, we need time. but i don't want that. i don't want time. i want her.

"so please, go, draco" she says and i shake my head. tears roll down her face as i look at her "goodnight, elizabeth" i sigh, realizing there's no saving this. "goodnight, draco" she says before shutting the door.

as i walk down the stairs i think about what i've done. i've ruined the only thing that brought me genuine happiness. and she tried, she really tried to ignore me blowing her off btu she couldn't anymore and i understand that. i just have to finish this thing with pansy and i'll win her back. i know we'll come back to eachother, i'll always go back to her. no matter what, it will always be elizabeth.