Love is Pain

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Piper's POV

We were at the parking lot going to the car and I was walking behind Nicky and the nurse who's pushing Alex's wheelchair.

We reach our car and Nicky opened the passenger door but my phone started to ring so I stopped walking and open my bag to look for my phone. I wasn't paying much attention but I heard the nurse said if Alex could stand up.

The noise around me was all drowned out when a sharp and piercing cry echoed through the parking lot.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!". Alex is screaming.

My head snapped up and I saw Alex thrashing in her chair. "Don't touch me!". She screamed again and I saw the male nurse took a step back and held his hands in the air.

I was shocked but I caught myself and I rush beside her. She's crying and she's violently shaking. She looked very frightened.

"Hey, hey, hey, Alex what's wrong?". I cried out, frightened.
I tried holding her hands but she pushed me away.

"Get me out of here!". Another loud wail. I can see the agony in her face. She look very afraid and I don't understand why.

I grab her arms tightly this time to stop her from thrashing. I couldn't let her hurt herself anymore. I lean down to look her in the eyes and she's staring back at me but she has this blank stare on her face like, she's seeing something else apart from me. Her eyes from being green, now it's pitch black.

"Alex? Alex! Look at me! Look at me, Alex!". I said firmly and I'm trying to hold her gaze, I shook her gently to get her attention.

She's crying in agony and I'm freaking out. I feel terrible for her but I have to calm her down. She's traumatized by the accident and she's having a panic attack.

She tried pushing me away again and I didn't know what else to do so I embrace her tightly to let her know that I'm here.

"Shhhh, It's okay, it's okay. You're fine. No one's going to hurt you". I said trying to console her. I felt a great mental suffering as her screams were slowly torturing me.

"I'm here Alex, I'm here, I'm not leaving you". I can feel my own tears building up. I hate to see her falling apart like this. How did this happen? My strong wife suddenly become so fragile and afraid.

My heart clenches at the sound of Alex's terrified cry. I can feel my nerves being pulled tighter at her obvious pain and I felt like someone has just stabbed me in my heart.

She keep thrashing and pushing me away, her agonizing cry is like a thousand needles puncturing my whole body.

She suddenly became so breakable, Alex is good and she didn't deserve this.

But wasn't this all my fault?
I cannot imagine I did this to her. How can I let this happen to my wife?

I hold her down until she calm down completely.
After a moment I can feel her starting to get limp against my strong grasp. Nicky is also beside her and holding her down.

I locked eyes with Nicky, she too is afraid and worried for Alex. She shook her head at me softly and her eyes were deep with sorrow.

And then it dawned on me, what if my wife will never recover from this? I was frightened.

I just wish for everything to be back to normal again especially for Alex.

I slowly untangled my arms around her and kneel infront of her and stare at her tear streaked face. I lightly brushed her hair away from her face and wipe her tears. She is looking down and her eyes are red and looking so exhausted. The panic attack must've made her feel very tired.

"Are you okay?" I asked her calmly and stroke her face.

She just shook her head in response. I close my eyes trying to ignore the ache in my heart.

"Tell me when you're ready to get in the car... just take your time, we're not in a rush here, okay? We'll wait for you.". I assured her.

I look at the nurse and motion for him to leave us. He's probably in shock after what happened.

"It's okay, we'll be fine. Thank you". I told him.

Alex, slowly lifts her hand and wipe her face. I notice her hands are still shaking.

The sun is hitting her pale skin and she glows beautifully, Her hair glinted in the bright light over her face. Looking at her now, I realized that I never truly appreciated her beauty before.
Just when I thought Alex couldn't get anymore gorgeous.. she does.

This moment right here is just another reminder of how fragile and breakable Alex is.

"We'll ride in the back if it makes you comfortable". I offered.

She nod her head. "Okay". She said weakly and her voice strained. I got up and I didn't realize how tensed I was and I'm shaking too.

Nicky, open the door and Alex got up slowly. I hold her and helped her get in.

"Is it okay if you drive?". I asked Nicky.

"No problem". She took the car keys from me and went to the driver seat.

The moment I get inside, Alex immediately scoot closer to me and lean her head on my shoulder, I kissed her forehead and I wrap my left arm around her protectively and stroke her face with my right hand trying to comfort her. We stayed like this the whole drive home.

The ride home was quiet, neither one of us felt the need to talk after what happened. Nicky parked the car closer to the front porch so it'll be easier for Alex to walk.

We both helped her get out of the car and brought her straight to our bedroom.

She lay down and fell asleep almost immediately. I grab the duvet and pull it over her body.

I sat next to her and stare at her relax form and I just notice she's a lot slender than before. I stroke her beautiful face and I can feel my own tears building up. I love Alex so much, more than everything else in this world combined.

She look so beautiful and not all works of art are in the museum, sometimes they are right her in front of me. Sleeping.

I don't think I could ever forget the look of terror on her face. She look calm now and I wonder if she's going to have one of those episodes again and the thought terrified me, my heart sank, my stomach bubbled and I feel like I'm going to vomit.

I noticed something move in my peripheral vision. I look at the door and Nicky is leaning on the door post staring at Alex

"I am scared, Nicky". I whispered

"I know you are and I am too, Piper". She admitted.

"You think she'll recover from this?". I asked

"I honestly don't know. It was hard seeing her like that,
It was almost..... painful".
She said and shook her head probably trying to erase the memory.

"I know.... hearing her scream in pain, that's one of the most unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. It was the very worst feeling... knowing that I couldn't stop her pain". I cried.

It was excruciating seeing Alex that way. I never would've thought she'll go through that. I always think of her as tough and it's easier to think of her that way than being the vulnerable one.