Love is Pain

Baby's Home!

Piper's POV

Going home with a newborn is pretty terrifying. Our daughter was absolutely amazing at the hospital. She didn't really cry much, she slept peacefully and nursed from me perfectly. I told myself  "Girl, you got this". This is easier than I thought, but I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Once we left the hospital and arrived home, things changed drastically. Yes, I am glad that I am finally home. Just me and Alex and this teeny tiny baby with no more doctors, no more nurses to assist us. We have to do everything on our own now.

We don't know what to do with this baby, and not just a baby, but a crying, screaming, fussy baby. I wonder what happen to our sweet little bundle of joy? For all I know they gave us the wrong baby and I wouldn't even notice.  It's only been a week and I am tired as fuck. Sure, newborns are cute and adorable, but they aren't all sunshine and rainbows. If you have hang-ups or get grossed out quite easily with bodily functions, your baby will cure you of that pretty quickly.
Pee, poop, puke and snots. At some point you will be wearing all of them. On your hands, your shirt, your jeans, even on your hair. Don't sweat it, your baby doesn't care.

I was sleep deprived. They said when the baby sleep, you sleep.
Uh-huh. That probably works well in story books and fairy tales, but not in real life. I mean, how the fuck can I do that when everytime my daughter is sleeping all I can do is constantly checking her if she's still alive and breathing. Much like your former sleep schedule, you can kiss your relaxing meal goodbye. Newborns are eating and pooping machine, with all the stuffs thrown in between feeding and diaper changes. Me and Alex adopt a way of eating in turns or at a run.

I am in a constant state of panic, I worry about the baby and my family every single second.
I look at my child and felt an enormous feeling of guilt, because somehow I manage to bring this perfect little human into the world and I am letting her down with my clumsiness and lack of mommy skills.
Our bedroom looked different too as Alex had to rearrange things to make room for our daughter. I felt displaced and confused.

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The following weeks went by in a sleepless rush and we get the hang of it. Well, most of it and you learn pretty quickly though.
Suddenly we get to do things at our own pace. It can easily get overwhelming. I mean, your life changed significantly overnight, and you are totally responsible for this tiny, fragile new life which you also have absolutely no control.

They said that being new parents can put extra pressure on your relationship with your partner.
I never considered myself lucky before, but after Alex came into my life I became the luckiest person in the whole universe for having such a supportive wife. There is nothing I could ask for more. She's my rock, my shoulder to cry on and my constant companion. Alex, as I said before has the patience of a saint. She never once complained and she's making everything so much better for me.

She cooks healthy meals, clean the house and can still find time to help me with our daughter. While our quality time together may not be the same as it was before our baby was in the picture, we try to be intentional about making time for it. Once the baby settle down for the night we would lazily lie down on the couch and watch crappy movies together. Alex would constantly remind me that the most important ingredient for intimacy is staying connected.
After all, we're always stressed, we're sleep deprived, and we simply can’t put our relationship first anymore at least not while we've got a helpless newborn to care for.

"Alex, wake up". I said gently, I found my wife sleeping in the bathtub. How the hell did she even manage to fall asleep in this condition. Her body from the neck down is fully submerge in the water.

She jerk awake,"here's your milk!". She blurted and I burst out laughing.

"Oh it's you. I fell asleep didn't I? Fuck! I am so exhausted" She groaned. "I'm sorry Pipes, did you need anything?".