Shallow Valley

13.Accidental Light

13.

If it's all broken mirrors and a chance roll of the dice,
Then I'll risk everything for a glimpse of accidental light.
(Sleeping At Last-Accidental Light)

Christmas. Lexa had never really celebrated it. It could look strange, she knew it, but she had never been at home that day. She usually had a lot of stuff to think about. But that year it would have been different. Anya, Raven and Lincoln used to spend Christmas with Clarke's family, so the doctor had decided to invite Lexa and the kids too at lunch at her mother's house. The brunette had immediately tried to refuse, embarrassed by Marcus' presence, but then the idea of Madi and Aden to finally celebrate a decent Christmas made her change her mind. Well, it wasn't just that. She couldn't lie to herself. Of course she wanted Madi and Aden to be happy, but she also wanted to celebrate Christmas with Clarke. She didn't know what was the problem with her, but she needed to spend more time as possible with Clarke. She didn't feel anything for her, they were just very good friends, but she needed her. Clarke was becoming more and more important to Lexa, in a way she had never thought it was possibile. She was a bit scared of it. Caring was dangerous. Love is weakness , that was her motto. Every kind of love. And caring was love. Friendship was love. Whatever thing she was feeling for Clarke was love. And that meant it was weakness. She couldn't be weak. Not again. Not after Costia.

"Lexa! Merry Christmas!" Abby greeted her, so happy to see her. "How are you? Here, give me your coat. Hi kids!". Aden waved his hand and smiled at the older woman. He liked her, he didn't know why. Maybe because she had cured his poor head. On the other side, Madi didn't really cared about the woman. She didn't know what she had to do. She had never celebrated Christmas and she didn't really like family lunches. Too many people asking uncomfortable questions, not exactly her cup of tea.

"Madi, how do you say?". The teen rolled her eyes.

"Good morning. Thank you for having us." she greeted Abby, faking a happiness she wasn't feeling. She sat at the table, starting to play with a glass. Lincoln joined her, sitting in front of her.

"Don't you like Christmas?" he asked.

"Almost as you like Octavia flirting with that bartender working at Callie's Café." she replied, with a bitter tone. Lincoln's eyes widened.

"How do you..."

"Oh, c'mon. Everybody knows it, it's not a secret. But you have no chance, she doesn't like you. At all.". Lincoln swallowed. That girl who was supposed to be her niece had no right to destroy his few hopes of becoming Octavia's boyfriend.

"I am so close. She will like me."

"Yes, and I will enjoy staying here in this dead town." Madi replied. Lincoln stood up and joined her sister and Raven.

"That girl is the devil. Really, I don't know how she did it, but she destroyed my feelings and..."

"Lincoln, everyone knows about your crush for Octavia. Stop it, please. Even O knows." Raven said. "You just need to believe in yourself, man. Octavia will see what you're worth and she will stop giving attention to that stupid asshole."

"What is a tupid ashol ?" a tiny voice asked. Anya couldn't believe they really had cussed in front of a five years old child. Aden was looking at her aunts and uncle with his big brown eyes, wondering for an answer. Raven decided to take the lead.

"It's something you have to avoid saying, especially in front of your mama. Promise me, please." she told the child, who shrugged, a bit confused.

"Okay." he squeaked, jumping away and running to Lexa. The woman hugged him and allowed him to sit on her lap, while she was talking to Abby, Marcus, Nyko and Sinclair.