Shallow Valley

36.Closer Now

36.

So won't you come
A little closer now
And let me be your girl
(Ruth Moody-Closer Now)

Clarke opened her eyes, slowly. She checked the time. 3:07, she should have to definitely go back to sleep again. She turned to Lexa. The brunette was still asleep, more beautiful than ever. Clarke smiled, losing her gaze to that strange tattoo that adorned Lexa's back, consisting in a long framed line and seven circles of different diameter, while on the basis of her neck there was an infinite symbol. She couldn't picture its meaning. Maybe something related to Costia.

"No, please. Please, let her go. Let her go." the brunette mourned, bringing back Clarke from her thoughts. She was having a bad dream, again.

"Please, take me. Let her go, let her go." she kept crying in her sleep. "My fight is over".

"Lex." Clarke called her. "Lex, wake up honey.". The blonde gently shook Lexa, until she opened her green eyes. She looked around, a bit disoriented.

"Clarke?". The doctor smiled at her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, while turning on the light.

"Yes, it's me.". Lexa seemed relieved by that confirmation. She turned to Clarke and kissed her desperately, as she was incredulous to still have her.

"Do you want to talk about it? What did you dream about?" the blonde asked, wrapping her in a tender embrace. Lexa bowed her head, her lips still trembling. Whatever she had dreamt of, it should had been really frightening.

"I dreamt that my uncle was shooting at you. He wanted to kill you, Clarke. All I could do was running to the room you two were in and take the bullet meant for you. I... I couldn't lose you. I can't lose you.". Clarke held her closer and kissed her hair. She rocked her, humming.

"It was just a dream, Lex. You won't lose me. And why would your uncle want to shoot at me? I don't think he is a killer.". Oh, you don't know how wrong you are, Lexa thought, but didn't say it out loud. She rested her head on Clarke's belly and waited for her breath to slow down.

"I didn't know you have those tattoos." the blonde said, trying to shift the topic. Lexa bit her lip. Her tattoos, how could she had been so stupid? Clarke wasn't meant to see them. Lexa needed to find something to say in order to justify them.

"This one is so beautiful." Clarke kept talking, caressing the tribal tattoo that circled the brunette's arm. "But this one on your back is incredible. What is its meaning?". Lexa closed her eyes for a while. Explaining it would have been really difficult. She didn't want Clarke to know about her violent past. She wanted to bury it and never hear of it again. She opened her eyes again and her irises immediately crashed into Clarke's. She sighed.

"Back in Polis I lost some people. This tattoo is my way to honor them every day of my life." she said, vaguely. Clarke smiled at her, with an affection that Lexa had experienced only with Costia.

"You won't lose anybody else, it's a promise." the doctor told her.

"Don't make promises that you can't keep, Clarke." Lexa replied. She could feel a strong sense of anguish in her heart, a bad feeling of an imminent threat against her new happy life.

"And don't you drown yourself in the past, Lexa. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I love you and you will never lose me.". The brunette looked at Clarke. Her blue eyes were promising her peace and serenity, something that Lexa had been chasing for all her life, despite all the tragedies occurred.

"I love you too." she whispered. She moved closer to Clarke and kissed her passionately. Yes, she was right. All Lexa needed was to stop thinking about the past and start living the present.